#the last one is from a fandom you would expect to see in 2014 tumblr not now and its reputation is highkey cringe so

[welcometoteyvat]

In both character design and personality, is there a type or pattern to the characters you get attached to?

tldr this feels a bit disappointing but quite literally anyone that falls into the category of little guys LOL. this encompasses both character design and personality i think. the rest are a smattering of different personalities

a lot of them have bright-eyed (or sopping wet) puppy energy of a decent high school guy idk. some variation of shorts/hoodie combo helps, messy and/or dark colored hair does too. otherwise, it's some old guy who usually exudes a majestic, knowledgeable or ancient air. or masc-leaning girls who are straightforward and kind of blunt but have good hearts (dark short hair still helps). also people who are whimsical and have interesting imaginations or perspectives on the world they inhabit

generally I think I like people who are peppy/outgoing, or just Normal People (mortals, no fateful encounters with the nonhuman world) who are getting through life one way or another. some of them are side characters with no particular trauma who i pretend are main characters, or side characters who have a generally complete character arc about dreams, modernity, or sense of self/purpose. the similarities end there lol

for the older characters that I like; manipulation, wisdom, and a degree of all-knowingness are nice.

then there are outliers Georg (pearl from steven universe, [redacted from redacted] and [redacted from redacted]) these ones all have trauma. 2nd character is extremely polarizing, probably had antisemitism written into him tbh :\, dark backstory, trauma, excessively mean with only a certain degree of reason, not young, arc is more impacted by the actions of other humans than by fate or whatever. the last one is pretty jaded and also subtly manipulative, among other things. he's also ancient and nonmortal; it's like if opposite/2p zhongli existed

[tricksterpale]

Farewell

It feels strange to write this. I've had this blog for over 10 years now. But the time has come for me to say goodbye.

After much thought and many quiet moments over the 2 year long hiatus spent reflecting, I’ve decided that I’m leaving this account. I’ll leave this blog up, for the sake of memories, for the archives of what was once a vibrant, welcoming place for me and for so many of you. But this will be my last post.

The gw2 fandom here on tumblr in particular, this place that I once cherished and found sanctuary in, no longer feels like a safe and healthy space for me, or for the work I want to share. And so, I find myself at this crossroads, saying goodbye not out of anger or resentment, but out of a quiet need to protect myself and my art.

I will still create. I will still share my work in other spaces, where I can breathe a little easier (and post work that this platform prohibits). But for now, and likely indefinitely, I need to step away from this blog in particular.

The years have not been kind to any of us, have they? The world has tilted in ways we never expected, dragging us all into its churning tides. The world has been harder, scarier, less stable with each passing day. A lot of us have lost things—people, or perhaps just the sense of comfort and security we once took for granted. Some days it's felt like nothing is safe, not even the things that I once believed would always be there.

It’s hard for me to ignore the way the fear, the uncertainty, the instability of the world around us has seemingly seeped into this space as well, turning what once felt like a refuge of comfort into something more toxic. I see the same things happening here that I see out there: endless conflict, divisiveness, quick and damning judgements based on differences of opinion and perspective, walls instead of bridges, cliques, lack of critical thinking, and a constant undercurrent of tension that makes the idea of posting here feel less and less safe for me. It feels as though the tumblr fandom community has become rife with the very things I came here to escape once upon a time. This blog is no longer a place I can find peace in.

These past 5 years in particular have forced me to expand and withdraw in ways I didn’t anticipate. In the beginning when I made this blog, there were the sparks of creativity fanned into blazes, the feeling of being connected to a group of like-minded souls, all of us sharing our love for Guild Wars 2, for art, for storytelling. There were certainly issues, but overall the things that made us different were the same things that brought us together. But as time wore on, it became clear that the fandom had lost something that once felt vital to me. The space became crowded with tension, with a kind of noise I no longer felt equipped to tune out. What once felt like a community that embraced differences in perspectives began to feel like a place where I was on edge, unsure of whether the next post or interaction would be one of support or of conflict.

It’s hard to admit this, but perhaps it’s not just the fandom that has shifted. Perhaps I have, too. The person I was in 2014 isn’t the person I am now, and thank god for that. When I first joined this space, I was looking for connection, for a place to share my work and my passion for Guild Wars. I wanted to be part of something larger than myself. But the world has changed, and so have I. The things that once fed me now leave me feeling hollow, anxious. The echoes of the past still linger, but the resonance isn’t the same. The goals and inspirations I once had feel more like a memory, a forgotten song that no longer moves me or serves me.

This isn’t to say that I regret any of it. I’ve learned so much, about myself and about others. I’ve seen incredible art, met incredible people, and shared moments of joy with many of you. Those things matter. They’ve shaped me in ways I can’t even fully express. But the person I am now can’t exist in the same space I once did. I no longer see the world, or this particular internet corner of the GW2 fandom, through the same lens.

The past five years especially have taught me that change isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes, it’s painful. Sometimes, it’s lonely. But it’s real. And it’s necessary.

My perspective, my sense of what’s important, of what matters, has shifted. The things I once valued here no longer hold the same weight. Like I said, I will leave TricksterPale up. I just will not be posting or logging in here again. For those who know my handle on discord, you can always find me there. You are more than welcome to poke me, even if it's been a long time. But otherwise, you can keep up with my art and musings on my newly created bluesky account from this point forward. I do not have an Instagram or Twitter anymore.

I don’t know what the next chapter looks like, but I know I’m not the same person I was when I first opened this blog. And for that, I’m grateful.

Take care of yourselves, and remember—change is inevitable, but it’s also a chance to grow into something new. Something better. And sometimes, part of that growth is being willing to let go and move on from things that no longer serve you.

[cycleoffates]

Just found you here after searching Pumpkin Panic (again). You see, I found that demo back in 2014-2016 and I feel like it made a huge impact on what my art aesthetic preferences are because your artsyle is super colorful and the game really gave me candy and Halloween vibes! So once I a while I search official art you have posted about it. Whether you come back to making games or not I wanted to thank you for creating that demo and showing your spooky ocs. Hope you have a nice day!

hello!!! thank you so much for sending me this message. apologies if my response has been somewhat late, Tumblr's a place I hardly check and free time isn't something I have as much as I used to. 🥲 sorry if this is gonna be a long response too! i didn't intend it to be but I'm feeling somewhat sentimental.

even if i've pretty much been radio silent all over the place, this message has been something I've been constantly thinking about for a while. well, this one and a few that have been left on one of my videos. 🥹 (I'm posting them rq bc they bring me joy)

Pumpkin⭐Panic (yeah, with the star bc i found out there's another game called that now) has always been very near and dear to my heart. i made that demo when I was still a kid in high-school w/ a lot of ambitions. the idea for it was very impulsive, bc it started out as me making a gift for my followers on Halloween. i have no idea how I managed to create a demo for it in under a month (I have no clue how I was able to do it back then 💀).

talking about and posting OC stuff has always made me shy bc I wasn't sure how people would perceive it (or rather, my original, non-fandom creations), but it warms my heart to know it's been (and is still) loved by a lot of ppl who remember it to this day, even if it's very old. not to mention, it's very outdated, littered with bugs and was made on a (now defunct) laptop with a broken audio jack (hence why the audio is so loud (LOL)). making a game by yourself is harder than it looks!!!

it's been......... maybe 10+ years now? i think since it's initial creation. wow. typing that out makes me feel OLD. during all that, I put out another game demo and tried to write visual novels, but none of them were finished/saw the light, either. I'm somewhat ashamed of that too. i wanted to make more stories, but I just found myself lacking the time and the motivation (Tumblr was dying, I started working towards a college degree, you get the gist).

at that point, i stopped posting OC content as much (bc you know, social media engagement with fandoms and commissions gets you clicks!). i kept all those to myself (granted I didn't have a lot to begin with LOL) and only shared them with close friends. sometimes i'd post something on the bird-app, but it wasn't constant.

and then few years ago, a couple things happened to me (for the worse?). it opened my eyes and made me realize how impacted I (as a person) and my creations (as extensions of me) were by others who I shared personal connections with (through relating w/my characters). those things changed my life and made me anxious about talking about them again with others. i got scared. it was bad.

from then on, i shifted my gear towards making a lot of money as I could from commissions. flash forward to the beginning of last year, I had my "icarus-flew-too-close-to-the-sun" moment.................... yeah, burnout is NOT fun.

but at the same time, during those years of making bank and struggling, I was able to connect with someone again who made me love talking about my OCs again. i started roleplaying w/OCs again, I started writing and drawing OCs again. granted, they're not the same ones as before, but they're still my characters, and I want to share their stories with the world (someday). yeah okay, this is veering away from Pumpkin⭐Panic so i'm pulling the reins back on it again.

thank you again (from the bottom of my heart) for sending me this ask. this probably wasn't??? the answer you were expecting, but it made me feel something so HAVE AT IT. 🥹 I have attempted to create some semblances of art for a Pumpkin⭐Panic "reboot" but never got far, so it's most likely I won't be picking the game demo project back up. maybe I'll post them here if I remember to?

i've been thinking about giving the main game some closure at least. an artist I follow did something where when they decided to quit their webcomic, they posted the scripts/concept art/etc of said webcomic so fans can look at it. i think that's something I might try and do, if people are interested.

i also had plans for a prequel game (visual novel written conceptual draft)......... that? that's something I'm still thinking of doing one day, mostly because I have a new OC project now (not PP! related) that I want to bring to life but have no idea on the direction I want to go with. a friend told me that maybe trying to do an experimental visual novel with the prequel (of PP!) might help me get a feel for where I want to go for said new story. it doesn't have a proper name that I'm happy with, but............

i just think these goobers deserve that finished, at least.

thank you one again for your ask, sorry if it was sooooo long-winded, and i hope you have a wonderful day as well! <3

[danvillecheese]

the general audience versus the rest of us

this analysis is not to degrade anyone outside of or in the fandom, it’s simply to showcase how differently people remember phineas and ferb. there are a number of topics I will delve into, all of which are lovingly put into sections under the cut. so, with no further ado… enjoy!

how normal people watch it

so if you’re like me and watched pnf occasionally on tv growing up you’ll remember bits of the show. you’ll remember it’s repetitive and episodic nature, the way everything goes back to how it was at the start of the day. phineas and ferb think of something to do, candace attempts to bust them, perry fights doofenshmirtz, and doofs machine makes phineas and ferb’s invention disappear, sticking to the status quo of what linda typically sees. it’s predictable, but not in the sense that you necessarily know what’s going to happen. maybe you do, or something happens that subverts your expectations. the “typical phineas and ferb episode structure” (or TPNFES, I’m calling it that now) is how a lot of people who haven’t seen the show in a while will remember it. or maybe not. maybe they remember doof making an inator that does x. or they remember the aglet song (never forget ze aglet!). it’s typically something you’d have seen at least a couple of times during its original run.

and no, of course there’s no problem with only remembering one or two things about a show from your youth. I personally watched a lot of shows as a kid that I don’t remember a thing about. yeah I watched LazyTown when I was like four but if you asked me the plot of any episode I would NOT be able to tell you. and it’s because it wasn’t something I was really interested in. and of course, kids can be interested in shows and know a lot about them and then hit their teen years and not remember much about them later. but if they go back and absorb that content again? they see stuff they missed the first time, or stuff they definitly remember. hell, they might even sing along to A.G.L.E.T. because as everyone knows, pnf lyrics stay with you forever. (even if you haven’t heard the theme song in a decade you won’t forget the lyrics. that shit is hardwired into you from the moment you first see it.)

my point is, a casual viewer doesn’t do anything more than just… watch the show. hell, sometimes they don’t even watch it, they’ll have it on in the background while they’re on their phone or doing something else (couldn’t be me!!). watching the canon content just once gives them the satisfaction of starting and ending the show. they don’t go into detail about it. they probably won’t open an ao3 tab the moment the last episode finishes. they won’t make a tumblr sideblog dedicated to understanding the intricacies of character arcs, their goals and ideals and how they interact with others. they don’t care enough to do that bc it doesn’t make their brain go insane for more knowledge about the show. and as strange as it sounds, they don’t have it on their minds for that long. yeah, maybe theyll think about how nice the songs were in that s4 finale but after that, that’s it. they’ll move onto something else.

how I watched it

I watched phineas and ferb as a kid. I’m pretty sure I watched it when it first aired, too. perhaps not in 2007, it might have been the year after when it actually started premiering (nz airing is so far behind it’s not even funny). I watched it as it aired, and then grew out of it around the middle of s3. I got a little older, started watching different shows, and I was just generally doing other stuff. I have a vivid memory from 2012 when a kid from my class told me that pnf wasn’t worth watching bc the same thing happens every episode and my socially inept ass went “omg ur so right” and I stopped watching it. fast forward a couple of years and I hear that the show is like, actually finally ending. idk why but I remember it being in 2014, not 2015 when it actually did air (the pnf wiki doesn’t have the date for the nz airing of last day of summer so I guess we'll never know if it aired early or not) but I watched it and kinda just carried on with my other interests at the time.

around 2017, I start talking to an internet friend from the same country as me. we talked about our upbringings and stuff we used to watch on tv, and she brings up phineas and ferb. aha! I know that one! it encourages me to rewatch the show and before I know it, I’m shoulder deep. i mention facts about it to real life friends and family (“there’s a pnf episode where…”) and I go hunting for interviews and comic-con panels with the whole cast on youtube. you know how it is. I start going through the posts on tumblr and I find a sibling show of sorts – one that also has a crossover planned for 2018. I watch that show. I lurk in the shadows of the tumblr tag for a while. I start writing fic. I draw the characters on any piece of paper I can get my hands on.

it all comes to a head in october 2018, when I wrote a phinjeet fic called cappuccino, and one of my favourite artists EVER made fanart of it. and obviously, I had to put it somewhere. I’d thought about making a dwampy sideblog for ages and had no idea what to call it or anything, but this was all the encouragement I needed. I made the sideblog. I reblog the art. then I went through my likes and got some of the pnf/mml posts out. fast forward almost five years, and here we are. still just as insane, just with a new username.

in short — no, my experience watching pnf is not one of those typical of a general audience member. I mean, it would have been, if not for that fateful conversation with my internet friend that basically rebooted me and quite literally rewired my brain to be insane about this cartoon universe. I’m not by any means a casual viewer of this show. I know more than an average person would about it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I adore this little community of ours. and being able to crack out of context jokes that come from the shows to older people who I know have never seen it, well, it’s a cherry on top.

both the GA and the fandom contribute to the culture staying alive

there’s certainly a way that the general audience keeps pnf alive, even if they have no idea they’re doing it. they’ll make very generic memes about it (you know the ones I’m talking about) and they’ll circulate the internet for a bit, reminding everyone about the show they watched casually as a kid. us, on the other hand, make very very niche memes about it. like hieroglyphics. and combovers. (see what I did there?) ours tend to stay in our little circulation, minus the ones that break containment. you get it in any fandom though, it’s certainly not limited to us.

as many times as you’ll see the posts that attempt to explain the ‘doof is phineas dad theory’, you’ll see just as many responses debunking it. or seeing dan and swampy debunk it, as they should. (honestly I think we need like crystal fucking clear evidence in the reboot to explain it otherwise it’s just gonna keep happening.)

the circulation of phineas and ferb itself through any means, be it memes or actual conversation that prompts a rewatch or even just a memory of the show, keeps the show relevant. I think one of the more notable ways this has happened is dan povenmire getting tiktok famous and basically reminding every older gen z kid about the show. to quote jeff swampy marsh – “plus there’s always reruns so the show will never die” – sure, disney channel itself barely exists anymore but reruns can also kinda be translated into disney+ rewatches or even just the passage of a meme on the internet.

phineas and ferb has stayed, somewhat, consistently relevant. I mean, think about it. since pnf started airing, there hasn’t been a year (except for 2021) where nothing has happened. pnf aired from 2007-2015, milo murphy’s law aired from 2016-2019 (which includes phineas and ferb characters so I count it as pnf content) and catu came out in 2020. dan’s own show hamster and gretel started airing in 2022, and based on the poster, I don’t think we’ll be missing any phineas and ferb characters at all. dan basically confirmed it. and truly, it’s what keeps the show alive, even when it’s not really there.

things in the show that the ga have very different opinions on, re:

candace and jeremy’s relationship

something the general audience haven’t caught up with yet is the way that candace and jeremy interact within the show. sure, if you haven’t watched it since you were 10 then you probably remember candace being like insane and loud about the boy she’s obsessed with. if you watch it again, you’ll see that jeremy is almost just as bad. it’s just downplayed because he’s not a main character. we don’t see his perspective NEARLY as much as we see candace’s, which might make it seem a bit more one sided or unrequited than it actually is.

in the episode “backyard aquarium” from early s2, we’re shown a montage of both candace and jeremy trying to ring each other for a whole day, until candace goes to bust her brothers and forgets about her phone for a little moment. this gives jeremy time to leave eleven messages for her. obsessed much? (it’s actually kinda sweet) and yeah, they’re teenagers. every feeling seems way more amplified than it actually is so both of them getting upset that they cant contact each other is pretty realistic, even if it is just played for laughs.

there’s a lot of really thorough characterisation when it comes to both of them. mostly with candace, obviously, she is THEE main character of the show so clearly she’s deep and very fleshed out. we don’t see it as much with jeremy but we get pretty good glimpses of it when it’s shown. he’s got the picture of her from “the bully code” in his guitar case. he likes her so much! he put her picture in the place he keeps one of his favourite things!! he’s down so bad for her! but of course, if you don’t actually pay attention or care especially about any of that stuff, you’re going to miss it and generalise about it. and it unfortunately applies to quite a few things in the show. sigh.

doof’s relationship with his parents

for real, fuck those guys. I think the ga are pretty aware of this part, and if you asked anyone to say what one of doofs backstories are they’d probably say “his parents didn’t show up for his birth!” or “he was a lawn gnome!”. both of which are specifically tied to his abhorrent relationship with his parents. but what they potentially don’t remember is how he still tries to gain their affections anyways. it’s the classic trope of not being able to cut off your abusers simply because you just can’t, morally. you still want to prove yourself to them and make them see you’re worth having around even if they never liked you in the first place. heinz tries very hard both in his youth and in the show itself to gain affection from both his mother and father. these include:

the teddy bear and trying to be good at kickball (thaddeus and thor)

the original gnome (fathers day)

even the fucking clip show episode from the end of season 3 (this is your backstory) where his mother comes back and he goes in for a hug and is instead greeted with a smack. hmm.

even just those examples are enough evidence that yes, heinz did actually really try with his parents even if they didn’t care. and again, it’s unfortunately played for laughs that heinz is constantly beaten down by almost everything around him but as we know, he gets a real family at the end of the show and things seem to work out well for him. does he get closure with both of his parents by the end of s4? maybe not his mother, but sort of with his dad. and yeah, maybe they’ll get into that in the reboot. but it’s definitely something the ga never noticed. it’s always about laughing at his tragic backstories, even if that is the point of them, not necessarily feeling bad for him and wanting to see him come full circle with everything that’s happened to him. and it does!

isabella and her one (1) personality trait

according to the ga, isabella garcia-shapiro is a one dimensional character who’s only personality trait is having tunnel vision heart eyes for the boy across the street. is your blood boiling yet? mine is! isabella is one of the most fleshed out characters in the show, with a large family and interests outside of phineas. hell, she’s the leader of her fireside girls troop which is a huge part of her personality. she’s brave and strong and gives ominous patch related threats to a man almost five times her age. but no, the general audience will only ever see isabella as the girl obsessed with phineas. I’m not discrediting this at all because yes, she’s obsessed with him. she’s a simp. definitely nothing wrong with that at all! but the ga claiming that it’s her only personality trait? get fucking REAL this girl is deep and gets upset and anxious and emotional about things that have nothing to do with the boy she’s in love with. even if it does have something to do with that, she carries on anyway because she’s strong as hell. it’s not the first time a character has been like that on disney channel — I mean, kim possible was pretty boy crazy but her crime fighting always came first, right? (really showing my age with that reference. wow) and I hate to reference act your age bc it’s vile but she doesn’t only ever spend her time moping over phineas as a teenager, she keeps herself busy and helps her mom at the restaurant and is an RA at her college and does a whole heap of other things! she’s multifaceted and it’s what makes her a really compelling character to watch. and watering her down into just the girl who likes phineas is a huge discredit to her character.

so, where am I going with this?

I’m not saying ever general audience member has to rewatch phineas and ferb a million times to understand every single character arc. hell, I’m not even saying that they have to rewatch it at all. there’s such a huge divide when it comes to it, and obviously not everyone is going to experience everything the same way. a lot of people simply don’t care enough to crack open the psyche of every phineas and ferb character to understand their motivations. that’s just the freaks (affectionate) who roam on tumblr, eager for media analysis of a childrens cartoon that ended almost a decade ago.

for a lot of us, it’s very satisfying to be able to analyse specific media. there’s writers and storyboard artists that put all that stuff in the show for a reason, right? it makes us want to see parallels and understand where a characters moral alignment sits and why exactly buford speaks latin. and for others, they’ll simply watch a show and move on. there’s no need for them for it to be on their brain 24/7.

overall, there’s a stark difference in the way people watch a show as iconic and culturally significant as phineas and ferb. the general audience watches it very differently to us, and that’s okay! it happens with any piece of media. there’s casual fans that watch something once and then the very not casual fans who have it on the brain constantly. and then there’s fans that have been very absorbed in the fandom and move on, which again, you’ll get anywhere. nothing about the dwampyverse fandom is limited to us, in terms of the way things go (not the source media itself. name one other show that has anything REMOTELY similar to pnf happen in it.) most people know the show, and most people don’t know about the insane and obscure facts about it, and I think it’s fantastic.

goodnight tri-state area. thank you.

[letsdrawvideogames]

I thought I'd briefly pull the proverbial dusty tarp off this defunct tumblr briefly to address some of the incoming traffic that I expect to see this week now that NCHProductions has publicly credited me for my artwork that their video is based on. I'd like to preface this by saying that we reached an agreement in private and I have accepted NCHProductions' apology, and that I do not condone or tolerate any harassment of NCHProductions on my behalf. This post is not meant to relitigate things or stir up drama. But with what happened, I thought this would be a good opportunity to open the floor to discussion on how the internet treats ownership of fanart and derivative work. I'm just one artist and my opinions are my own, but I've been at it a long time and it's not the first time someone else has used my fanart as a basis for something else. Here are three examples:

In 2018, Jonathan Nesbitt made a coding project as an entry for an informal contest run by the website Standard Code. His entry (properly viewable here) was based on a Metroid piece I had made in 2014 and he credited me in his entry. Although he never reached out to me to my knowledge, I thought this was fine given the time contraints and the fact that no money changed hands (the grand prize was an Amazon Echo someone had lying around). I think Jonathan's piece is very cute and I'm happy to have inspired someone this way. I might not have considered the artistic value of a simple HTML page otherwise.

In 2016, tumblr user @cyriusli messaged me about getting a Bulbasaur I drew in 2015 as a tattoo. He reached out to me directly and asked for permission before doing so and credited me as the artist when he shared a photo of the finished tattoo. Even though an artist in another medium was paid money to recreate my work in this case, I considered this to be entirely above board, and I'm sure the artist who actually inked it was happy to know that their client had explicit permission to use my piece. Knowing that someone has to look at my Bulbasaur every day until they die might be the height of flattery for me. This isn't the only tattoo of my work that's been done, and I'm always happy to see it so long as you ask permission.

Lastly, just a few weeks ago, I had to submit a takedown request on Displate against graphic designer SS Art, who was selling a poster that used a slightly edited version of a Shadow of the Colossus piece I drew in 2013. This is probably the most offended I've ever been as an artist. I doubt this seller made much money off of it and to their credit, Displate took it down very quickly, but it bothers me that it was allowed to go up in the first place. The ease with which merchandising platforms allow their users to publish anything without verifying its origin has made it ironically difficult to support the artists that I love: I've been looking for a new case for my Kindle on Etsy lately and found it extremely difficult to verify whether a seller's art was original or stolen. In one case, I found a seller selling a case with a Keith Haring print on it. I consider Haring's Unfinished Painting to be one of the most moving artworks of the last century, and here was his work being sold by some random Etsy store as "abstract cartoon funny dance pattern." I find this a deeply saddening, troubling phenomenon.

As the internet continues to shrink down to a handful of social platforms, it's been fascinating to see how the concept of fandom has shaped and been shaped by those same platforms. Fanart, memes, remixes, mashups, and other new forms of art that make copyright lawyers heads' ache have emerged as we all pile onto each other online. Overall I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. When I was first online twenty years ago, it's likely that I never would have seen art from many overseas artists on the English-speaking web, but it's been very heartening to see how the explosion of fanart surrounding interpretations like ErinArtista's distinctly Brazilian take on Hatsune Miku or Ayyk92's Bowsette character can bring an audience to artists that many of us wouldn't have known about otherwise. I think there is room for such a thing as fanart of fanart, I just urge artists of all stripes to think critically about how we use other people's ideas. I am not a lawyer, and I cannot tell you where the line is or isn't drawn in regards to work based on copyrighted material, or what your rights as an artist are if you make fanart and aren't the copyright holder. I've definitely made some decisions in the past that I now regret about monetizing derivative work, but I wouldn't feel right about enforcing any standards I might adopt onto others. The internet has, in a way, become one giant game of telephone, and I don't like how difficult it can be to be certain of the origin of something. For now, going forward, I think it would be nice to see more normalization of hunting down sources to the best of a person's ability coupled with acting in good faith when new information comes to light. This tumblr is dead, and I likely won't be responding to any comments directly, but I'm very interested in hearing what you all have to say.

And just for absolute transparency, I ran this by my friend Ixo and borrowed some of his phrasing in the conclusion. He can be found at https://ixo.neocities.org/

[arcielee]

Interview With a Writer

Thank you so much @toms-cherry-trees for taking the time to answer my questions about your brilliant piece and allowing my self-indulgent series to continue on! As always, Interview With a Writer is my ongoing series of the talented souls on Tumblr and ao3, and their brilliant writing! 💜

Dividers by @saradika-graphics 💜

Name: toms-cherry-trees

Story: Fires of Harrenhal

Paring: Aemond x Reader & Alys x Reader

Warnings: Betrayal. Character death. Very mild NSFW. Canon divergene from both book and show. Mention of war crimes and murder.

So, when did you start writing?

My first fandom writing was in February 2020 for the mostly unknown 1917 fandom. But I started writing privately (just me and my docs) ever since my last year of high school all the way to 2015, and even prior to that I helped friends with editing and proof reading their own reader insert fics (think 1D and Jonas Brothers kind of fics) in 2013-2014, so there is a lot of history!

What inspired the plot for Fires of Harrenhal?

Okay, so the idea had been bouncing on my head for a while of Aemond being betrayed by his wife because in fics it is almost always the wife who loses everything. And it all started when I pictured a wife with tears in her eyes, being informed that Aemond had been killed, only to crack a smile once the messenger leaves (most times fics play like movies in my head and that's how they come to be).

Through various hand written drabbles, I laid out the original outline of Aemond being a neglectful husband. I had originally written him as a abusive husband but then I thought, I need people to mildly dislike him but not hate him for the story to deliver the feels that I want. So he ended being presented as emotionally incompetent.

My original plan was for Alys and Reader was to team up to plot Aemond's death, by having Alys give him fake predictions about his victory. But as I reached the final scene with them on the rooftop I thought, "Alys is more cunning and interest driven than this. And she is expecting, she would surely strive for more than being the plaything of a widowed princess with nothing secure to her name."

Explain your interpretation of Aemond. What drives him? Why is he the way he is in Fires of Harrenhal?

As we know, Aemond is duty driven. Extremely so. So much I dare say, that he does not have much will of his own. His grandsire and his mother's will is his own. He will abide their every word.

I feel like he tries to make up for Aegon's lousiness. He sees the way his mother suffers for his misdoings and he tries to compensate by being extra dutiful and servicial. Yet he still harboured hope that, as the second son, he would be allowed some slivers of freedom, like being able to choose a wife, or by defect, to select one from one of the candidates obviously pre selected by Otto. But he is not any second son, he is the second son of the royal family, and the direct descendant of an extremely ambitious man. So he got what was chosen for him and he took it because that is what his family expected of him.

There I drew a parallel with Daemon in my mind. Both second sons, thrust into marriages of convenience with women they did not love nor know. But unlike Daemon, who chose to neglect by omission his wife (very in character with him), Aemond chose to commit to his duty, but nothing more. He did the bare minimum expected of him, enough to maintain the envision that the realm and court had of him. The problem was not his wife himself, rather the circumstances that brought her to him. She is duty. And there is no pleasure in duty.

When he is made regent, it unlocks a hidden part of him. His taste for power is unleashed and it affects every aspect of his life, including his wife. He can command her. And also, she is part of his new image of King in all but name. There is a carefully crafted illusion of himself that he must maintain, and his wife must play the part by his side. The regent must have a wife equally dutiful as himself. Always there by his side, serving him, enduring with him. She dresses in his colours, though she has no interests other than serve him and his house.

And then at last when he comes face to face with Alys, away from the watchful gaze of his family, the façade cracks. Duty becomes an echo when he is Master and Lord and every man does his bidding. No one is above him, his power is not borrowed. Harrenhal becomes his kingdom and the soldiers and servants his court. His own will is let loose for the first time and he exerts it without inhibitions. He executes, he punishes, he takes what he wants, like a child being let loose inside a candy store.

Alys is just an extension of that. He sees a woman, he likes her, he takes her. She gives him his powers which is an added bonus. His infatuation comes from his ability to finally do and choose for himself, what is good for himself and not for his Hightower family.

Do you want to expand a bit on your interpretation of her? Did you enjoy delving into her character?

Love or hate her, we cannot deny that she is an interesting character and what we know from her is extremely subjective. An entire House wiped from the face of Earth minus one bastard. A witch, or so they say. A witch who ends up carrying a child we must assume is Aemond's but we cannot be sure. And that's it. We don't know what drives her, what she likes, what she thinks of the war. She feels like a template which is what makes her so fun to write.

In my envision she does not seek power exactly, but stability. As a bastard woman she cannot take anything for granted, not even the roof above herself. She's been many years under service of the Strongs and we can only guess what sort of treatment she received. We know she's lost children but we never know who fathered them or if it happened willingly. We can presume Lady Strong didn’t take kindly to her (Like Catelyn with Jon in ASoiaF).

She has her card under her sleeve with her visions and she sees Aemond as the perfect fool to use them. A man who is not quite a man, full of adrenaline and anger, who is more driven than anyone to win this war. She offers him an invaluable advantage that he cannot refuse. She puts herself forward as collateral and the now free willed Aemond cannot refuse.

But she's playing him, not out of sheer malice but simply self survival. And when his wife comes, Alys must choose what to do with her. Originally Alys would have let her live, had it not been for the babies, Alys' and the wife's. That changed the scenario. Her golden card of mothering a Targaryen would lose shine if a legal wife also brought forth a legal heir. That conception sealed her fate. Again not out of malice, as Alys had grown quite fond of the wife, like a trusted friend, but she had to put herself first. And unfortunately Alys likes theatrics, so poison in the tea wouldn't cut it.

Does she have a face claim?

In my mind, it's Eva Green. Totally not thinking of Miss Peregrine.

[Photo from :･ﾟ✧soׂsa ִ ۟  ⌁0]

Was there anything in specific that inspired your Reader portrayal?

She is a mixture of concepts I had and morphed into something I liked. I think of her as a woman who thinks she deserves better but does nothing to achieve it. She thinks she deserves at least respect and some degree of attention from her husband, but when she does not get it the first try, she does not try to change it. She let's things be as they are. He ignores her? So be it. He has mistresses? She never directly confronts him about it. Even when he forces her to move into his chamber and disposes of her things, when things become oppressive, she does not fight them back.

When she meets Alys, she develops this notion that she in fact holds some power over her life and destiny, that she has means and drive to fight back, that her life is not whatever curveball launched at her.

But of course this freedom is an illusion only. She (the wife) has no power. She thinks she has, she thinks that by taking a drastic measure such as disposing of Aemond that she is in fact changing her life, when in reality she is just a dog being led by Alys' invisible, but very persuasive, leash.

What are you working on next?

I have many WIPS, none that are concrete in the immediate future, but hopefully to be done within the next 2 weeks! One is a JacexWife smut (shameless) and one will be a multichapter of post-war Aemond with a dragonseed!

Could we please have a snippet? 💜

Here is a little snippet of my Aemond x Dragonseed OC fic. She does not have a name yet. but her personality and background are mostly defined.

Sleep had evaded her for a while now. How could she find rest, submerged in such deep pits of the Seven Hells? The faint by perpetual dripping of water on stone, the scurrying of the rats alongside the walls and corridors, and the eerie, guttural, cacophonous bedlam of her fellow death row prisoners. The pointless prayers, the maniac laughter, insults hurled at the guards, followed closely by muffled cries with the face hidden against the wall. Coughing, retching, sound of human decay and immorality. The man next to her cell had apparently chosen to jerk himself to death, getting as close to the iron bars as possible whenever a guard walked past the cells, fingers tapping the grates as he chose whose head would roll in the scaffold that day. At least the rats showed more decency, scurrying around her bare feet, collecting the crumbs of stale bread she had dropped for them. A long, imposing shadow cast on the wall, in the shape of a man. A guard, she could guess. Looking out the corner of the eye, she noticed his finger placed on the lock of the cell. She had been chosen at last. She did not fear it. In fact, the wait stretched too long. I will join them at last, she thought The guard forced her back to attention with a harsh kick on the door, rattling the metal and reigniting the madness within the corridor, which quieted every time they came to fish out a new victim to be killed publicly to appease the fools, make them think that they did something useful. The key struggled in the lock, and the rusty hinges creaked as the cell door slowly swung open. "Rise and shine, bastard," sneered the guard. "You are getting married."

[eldorr1e]

I just did some searching here in tumblr abt the rise of the brave tangled dragons and I’ve come up with a few headcannons. Also don’t get mad at me if these headcannons aren’t close to cannon at all or don’t fit yours, this is MY headcannons and it’s up to you wether or not you like it. Take it or leave it. Also it’s been awhile since I’ve watched any of these movies so bare with me 😭

If they were in the modern au:

- Jack would be a prankster/trouble kid and always has something up his sleeve

- literally does not take anything seriously

- people are annoyed on how carefree he is

- his behavior makes it look like he actually doesn’t care about anything or anyone

- in truth he actually does but he doesn’t know how to show or expresses his feelings

- is the clown friend.

- has some very complicated feelings abt him not finding who he is and he feels so out of place at school. He’s desperate to know who he is and tries everything he can catch with his hands to see if that thing sparks joy or thrill inside him or not.

- he has tried every single club or extracurricular activities in school, but it seems he can’t find anything he enjoys and he fears that if he doesn’t find one he won’t be able to survive the real world. So he just keeps on trying and experimenting over and over again.

-he has so many hobbies he just doesn’t know what to do with it.

- but he does enjoy skateboarding so that’s that!

- okay I don’t know why but Rapunzel seems like she’d be a manic pixie girl for some reason to me 😭 like cmon bro was locked up her entire childhood and most likely mother gothel allowed her unrestricted access to the internet (probably? I’m not sure, maybe Rapunzel would find a way to use the family computer without her mom noticing 💀)

- she definitely has mode mental scar from the internet don’t even think that’s impossible

- you and I both know the internet… it’s a dangerous place 😁

- trauma from amino. I will not elaborate.

- and she would seem like a weird girl due to her being homeschooled and literally being so out of touch with the world so she wants to live up to every experience possible

- after she found out she was going to a real Highschool she was estactic

- has the touch of the tism (maybe all 4 of them too now that I’m thinking about it)

- I would love to see her in some outdated 2010-2014 outfits and her thinking she’s the most drippiest person on earth lmao

- she is in so many fandoms you have no idea.

- I would love to be friends with her because she’d likely know most of the fandoms I know and would indulge with me with each one 😭 (she’s an og for this✊)

- star butterfly kinnie probably

- okay it’s been awhile since I’ve last watched httyd (seven years *cough*) so my headcannons for hiccup will probably not be as accurate as it seems so don’t throw fire balls at me 😡

- most sane out of the entire three

- literally keeps everyone in line, is the mom too 😭

- responsible teen and is quite mature for his age

- well respected and has a great reputation, but him being friends with the three makes it falter just a little

- his dad owns some company or something and his dad keeps pressuring him to be the greatest yatta yatta yatta which makes him uncomfortable with the amount of expectations and pressure laid upon him on an early age.

- does not want to be apart of it bc he thinks he’ll fuck it up

- loves his friends so much you have no idea

- Merida would be THE sport kid in school don’t even test me

- she absolutely excels in archery and is literally apart of the school’s archery program. She’s very passionate abt it and is the fewest of things that makes her feel alive

- does fencing too but she likes archery more

- her mom doesn’t approve of this at all but her dad is very supportive and just wants her to be happy

- incredibly loud! Has an extremely extroverted personality and is friends with mostly everyone

- her family owns a big business too and she’s the next in line to managing it, except she knew at a young age that she really doesn’t want to do it and wants to be successful at her own thing.

- she’s both scared and angry at her mom for always restricting her with nearly everything and making sure she’s the ‘perfect girl/daughter’, always putting her in etiquette classes and stuff like that

- her mom keeps insisting she’s doing this for her own good and that it will come handy in the future but Merida ain’t having it.

- she’s scared at her mom because one time Merida was practicing archery for a little too long and was late for an important meeting her family was attending to. Her mom was so angry that she burned her archery equipment right infront of Merida which fucked up her brain chemistry 💀

- her mom feels bad but they haven’t really discussed or communicated about this yet, so their both on a tense situation everytime their near each other.

- mommy issues go her

- SHE LISTENS TO MITSKI

- she loves her mom to the bottom of her heart, she really does. And deep down she is aware everything her mom is doing is for her sake and that she should listen to her atleast once. But she has been hurt beyond repair due to their past experiences with her mom and they both don’t seem to know how to fix it.

- therapy is the answer girl 😭

Okay so right now that’s all I can think of at the top of my head. There are probably some more that I left out either on purpose or I just forgot. But holy crap this is the first time I’ve ever made a headcannon list so I’m pretty impressed with myself rn

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Panther Princess; T’Challa x child reader

*Author’s note*

Well this was a LONG time in the making, not only cause of motivation and time schedule wise but I wanted to make sure I GOT THIS FIC RIGHT since this is my first time writing for T'Challa since Chadwick's death last year (MAY HE RIP OUR KING!!!). Hope you guys enjoy this, and I’ve decided that after a few Wattpad requests I’ll open requests up here on Tumblr but there will be some MAJOR adjustments to what fandoms I’ll do. For now just be patient with me and eventually I will open requests here on Tumblr, I just don’t want to be overwhelmed.

Warnings: Malnourishment. abuse, terrorists involved (no action but just the word), some fluff.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@soy-guey

@queen-paladin

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

______________________________________________________________

It was in the dead of night when T’Challa received word about some smugglers were traveling with some stolen Vibranium, and word has it that they were working for Klaue.  Even though he had been dead, Klaue’s business was still running and forging deals with terrorists groups and anti-government parties.

Him and Okoye were flying over towards the drop-off point where the dealers were gonna be exchanging their latest steal of Vibranium.

“The dealers that Klaus’ second Lt. Rosko Lannister is selling the Vibranium to come from an Iranian terrorist group.”

“As usual we will let them make their business transaction before taking any further action. After dealing with the terrorist group and Lannister is ours, he will be put under the same crimes as we would’ve given Klaue.” T’Challa told Okoye.  She nodded as the jet continued to fly towards their destination.

It was just before sunset when at an old, abandoned warehouse Rosko Lannister and some of Klaue’s old men waited for their clients to arrive.  Soon enough driving in the black SUV’s and Honda trucks, the Iranian terrorist group came out of their cars.  Most of them were soldiers holding their AK-47’s close to their chest while out of the head van, 3 men dressed in full 3 piece suits exited the car.

They looked exactly alike for these three men were actually brothers.  Two of them were twins and the other was a year younger than his older twin brothers. Hasim, Sami, and Achmed Israeli were the three leaders of the biggest terrorist group in the world.  There was even record shown that they made deals with HYDRA back in the day.  Mostly smuggled weapons and potential serums for super soldiers.

After the fall back in 2014 when both SHIELD and HYDRA were exposed, the brothers decided to go underground and disappear under the radar.  The US and European governments have been trying to find them ever since but they are too clever and can easily cover their tracks both physically and wirelessly.

“The Israeli brothers. I can’t tell you how honored I am to be doing business with you.” Rosko praised.

“We didn’t come for praises. We came for the Vibranium. Do you have it?” the oldest twin brother Sami demanded.

“Getting down to business. That was one thing my former associate Klaue always appreciated. God rest his soul.” Rosko kissed his finger before raising them upward. “Nah I’m just kidding he was an arsehole, I’m actually glad he’s dead.” He changed his tune.

“The Vibranium. Do you have it or not!?” demanded the younger twin Hasim.

“Patience Hasim. Let the white man talk.” Sami eased his brother.  Rosko turned to one of his guys and nodded.  His left hand man let out a whistle and soon two men come carrying in a large box that was filled with the stolen Vibranium that Klaue had stowed away for himself.

The men set it down before the brothers and Achmed opened the case up to reveal the Vibranium they were looking for.  A small smirk came across Sami’s face and he said.

“Excellent. The most powerful material in the universe.”

“It did come at personal cost from Klaue, better him than me. It’s worth billions. Hope you also kept your end of the deal. This transaction is only fair if both parties agree.” Hasim smirked cunningly and turned to his general.

He nodded and exclaimed in Muslim and before Rosko even knew it. Every single one of his men was shot dead by the Israeli brother’s soldiers, leaving only him alive.

Every gun was now turned on him and Rosko had no choice but to raise his hands slowly.

“True. But when dealing with terrorists you should’ve also realized that there is a price to pay. Especially if you’ve been followed.” Sami said. At this point Rosko was confused.

“What-what-what are you talking about?”

“I’ve been in this game for a long time Mr. Lannister, I’ve seen everything and heard it all. Superheroes, aliens, psychotic androids, even real life wizards. So don’t think for a second that your actions hasn’t risen suspicion to the one who rules the very place where you got this Vibranium from.” Sami closed the case and patted it before his brother Achmed took it and had it put in the truck.

“King T’Challa has no idea of this Vibranium that was stashed away. He’s recovered the traces of Vibranium that Klaue kept public. There’s no way he could know about this.”

“Clearly Klaue had a better game face than you Mr. Lannister. For he wouldn’t have revealed such an important fact to me.” At that moment Rosko knew he had been played by the brothers.  Before he knew it, a bullet went straight into his head and he died right there.

“Surround the area. We don’t leave till the King is dead.” Ordered Achmed to his security team.  The soldiers exclaimed Arabic commands as they surrounded the warehouse with their guns outward and ready to fire.

One guard in particular heard something move behind him and he quickly turned and fired three shots but didn’t hit anything but some old crates.  His paranoia was getting the best of him and that’s what gave him away.  He was suddenly grabbed by the back of his robes and lifted up and beaten till he collapsed to the floor unconscious.

2 more guards heard what was going on and went to check on their fallen soldier when a flash of a figure ran behind them. They quickly turned and fired their guns when suddenly T’Challa came down behind them, quickly disarmed them and knocked them unconscious.

As more of the brother’s security came in and they open fired on T’Challa, he merely walked towards the security before sprinting forward and disarming the rest of them.  His claws tearing their guns apart, and using his quick ‘cat-like’ agility, he managed to take down the entire fleet.

“Israeli brothers!” he cried out.  It was then Sami came out and T’Challa revealed his face to the eldest brother.

“King T’Challa. I must say it is an honor to be in your presence.” Sami mocked.

“Did you really believe we would be unaware of this trade?”

“On the contrary, I expected this all along. It was that witless white monkey Rosko who didn’t expect to see you. But never fear, he’s out of both of our hands.” Sami said nonchalantly as he looked down at his nails.  

“If you surrender the stolen Vibranium to me, we can resolve this peacefully. But refuse, and you’ll face justice of Wakanda in Rosko Lannister’s stand. You and your brothers.”

“See my brothers and I made a pact. If we can’t escape the system, we’d be—how you say, judge jury and executioner to ourselves. And rather than rot in a cell separated, we shall join together in a blaze of glory. And we’re not afraid to take you with us, suffering the same fate as your own father did.” Sami raised his arms out like he was flying and waiting for a fiery explosion to happen.

But nothing came.

He opened his eyes to reveal that nothing had happened.  It was then coming into the open space were Ayo and Okoye who had Sami’s younger brothers. Both men were bruised and battered up pretty badly.  The two Dora Milaje members dropped his brothers down at his feet like trash and T’Challa said.

“I told you. This could’ve been resolved peacefully. But you forced our hand, especially when you had planned to blow up the place with all of us inside.” Sami growled but nonetheless raised his hands in surrender.

As the Dora Milaje were detaining the three brothers, T’Challa retrieved the stolen Vibranium when he heard something nearby.  It sounded like chains, they had defeated all of the security, Rosko and his men were all shot by the Israeli brother’s defense, and the brothers were all detained so who else was here?

“My King?” Okoye asked.

“Stay here Okoye, I want to check something out.” He told his general of the Dora Milaje.

“My king, it could be another threat we do not yet know about. Let me come with you.”

“I’m not defenseless Okoye. Now you and Ayo just put the men on the ship and let me handle this. It could be some animal or the chains fell down off of something.” Okoye nodded to her king and soon T’Challa headed deeper into the warehouse.

As he explored every bit of it, he soon noticed that there appeared to be a hidden door within the walls that was very faintly cracked open.  He opened the door and could hear the sound of the chains getting louder and louder.

It was almost like they were—pacing? They kept a constant rhythm as they would move about, in a circle pattern or something close to it.  T’Challa slowly walked towards the direction of the chains and soon found what appeared to be a cage.  A glass cage but it was inside that surprised the Wakandan King.

Inside the glass was a child.  She appeared to be around the ages of 8-11 years old. Her hair was extremely long and madded like a lion’s mane.  She looked malnourished so much so that you could almost see her bones.  But for being malnourished, how could she have the energy to pace so frantically like she was now?  He also noticed that there around her neck, wrists and ankles were chains keeping her inside.

T’Challa slowly walked out of the shadows and into the light where the child would be able to see him.  She stopped her pacing and just stared at him curiously. T’Challa disengaged his full Black Panther suit so that he was in his normal clothes.

“I am not here to hurt you.” He gently told the child.  The child slightly tilted their head like a lost puppy.  “My name is T’Challa, what’s yours?” T’Challa slowly and slowly got closer and closer to her cage as he spoke in that soft voice of his.  When she didn’t answer him he assured you, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I just want to be sure you’re okay.”

Suddenly in the blink of an eye, her (e/c) soon turned to a deep cat eye yellow.  Her body shifted into a fairly young but still decent size panther and she lashed out at the cage, knocking T’Challa off his feet in slight fear.  The child now standing before him as a full panther clawed and roared at the cage furiously.

“My King!” Ayo’s voice spoke in Xhosa and soon her and Okoye came in and when they saw the panther, they lifted up their spears in defense.

“Stand down!” T’Challa commanded them.

“But my king—this animal is feral. It was going to kill you.” Okoye reasoned with him but T’Challa told her.

“She is a human child. She shifted into this panther before my eyes. Look.” Soon enough the panther shrunk down and soon turned back into the young girl who was still pacing back and forth in her cage.

“What sorcery is this?” asked Ayo.

“Not magic. Science. Look closer at her arms.” T’Challa said.  At the section of the arm on the other side of the elbow, they noticed dozens of needle injection scars.

“This child was experimented on.” Okoye said grimly with a horrified expression.

“What do we do my King?” asked Ayo.  T’Challa looked at the child who was growling and trying to act scary even though she was no longer a panther anymore.

“We take her to Shuri. Maybe she can shed more light on the matter. Get her to the ship. But approach her cautiously. Don’t make any sudden movements.” Ayo and Okoye bowed their heads to their king and walked towards the cage.

The girl would hit her skeletal body up against the cage trying to rattle it and actually roared out a panther’s real roar, her teeth slowly growing into the large infamous canines of a real big cat. Okoye and Ayo then placed a hover bead on each end of the cage and soon the cage levitated just a few feet off the ground.

The little girl roared and began clawing at the glass but it hardly did anything as she was now being guided towards the ship.

When they reached Wakanda after dealing with the brothers, Shuri in her lab was going over the girl’s intel scan that she made of the girl from her cage with her kimoyo beads.

“So what is it you can find Shuri?” T’Challa said as he entered his sister’s lab.

“This may come as a surprise to you brother. But—she has no birth record at all. I’ve contacted some of my people in various places around the world to see if there has been any missing child and all of them have said no. My theory is that she may have been created from a test tube to look like this.”

“Any idea who could’ve made her?”

“The same organization that made the White Wolf into the Winter Soldier.”

“Hydra.” T’Challa said gravely.  Shuri nodded.

“I hacked into their old files and it only confirms my theory. Seems like they wanted to create their own Cat-god or something.”

“Any records on what her powers are? She can shift into a panther but can she also shift into anything else?”

“I’m still digging through the files, there’s a lot of files that came to creating her. It’ll take time brother.” T’Challa nodded in understandment.

“Keep me updated.”

“Yes brother.” T’Challa walked away but he turned back towards the young girl and saw that she had briefly stopped her pacing to look at him once again.

A week later after finding the child, Shuri managed to dig up that HYDRA’s plan for the Child was for her to become their Agent Battle Cat.  The ability to shift into a panther.  She also has enhanced agility, speed, and strength.

However when HYDRA fell back in 2014, they were forced to abandon the project and she had been left alone in that warehouse ever since.  Thinking about the enhancing experiments she must’ve been forced to endure or whatever genes they gave her, it allowed her to survive even being chained up in a cage for years on end until she felt like she needed to give up.

While being kept under his sister’s supervision, T’Challa also made it apparent to try and communicate with the Child, just to see if she could either understand or (in a rare case) speak in any language.  The first time he had tried to talk to her well—let’s just say she ended up with broken nails and chipped teeth after trying to take a bite of T’Challa’s forearm when he activated his suit to protect his arm from her attack.

He had finally finished his royal civic duties for the day when he decided to try and talk to the Child again.

“You sure it’s a good idea brother? You did cause her to lose her nails and chipped some of her teeth.”

“I learned my lesson last time. But you weren’t there before that happened. She had actually dropped her guard and almost looked like she wanted to communicate with me. I think I’m getting through to her.”

“Okay brother. But if she attacks you again, I doubt that’ll sit well with Mother as well as Okoye and Ayo.”

“I will handle mama and the Dora Milaje. For now see to it that no one disturbs us.” Shuri nodded and told her workers to go home for now, leaving T’Challa and the Child alone.

T’Challa slowly approached her cage to see her lying down on her side licking her broken nails.  Some of them had broken off by the top, while the rest had the entire nail broken leaving a bloody mess in it’s wake.  She was currently licking her blood stained fingertips when she caught T’Challa’s scent.

She growled and hissed angrily at him, her canine fangs extended out and her eyes shifted into the cold, yellow panther eyes.

“Steady, steady. I’m not here to hurt you.” T’Challa sat down a few feet away from the cage and continued, “I am sorry for what happened to you. I was only protecting myself from getting hurt. It was my fault for overstepping my boundaries.” Her hissing ceased and she closed her mouth hiding her fangs but she would occasionally growl lowly, her tail coming out and twitching anxiously.

They sat there in silence for a couple of minutes when T’Challa said to her.

“You know, I’ve been thinking of a name for you. You know something to call you. I’m betting the men who created you never really gave you a real human name. What do you think about—Ariana?” the Child hissed. T’Challa chuckled, “Didn’t think so. Shuri said you might like it but now I can prove to her that I was right. Now for the real options, what about…….Nala?” the child tilted her head confused.  “No? What about…..Diana?” she looked down and went back to licking her fingertips. “That won’t really help them heal. Sure it’ll clot the blood but it’s not that good for saliva to heal a wound like that.”

She looked up at T’Challa and growled lowly.

“I’m just trying to help. We have the medicine that’ll help you. I won’t lie it might sting for a brief second but it’ll help. Will you trust me with healing you, please?” the child looked between him and her fingers before slowly extending her arms out and she briefly nodded.

T’Challa then got some antiseptic and band-aids. He opened up a small section of the cage, just enough for her arms to come out.

“Thank you for your trust.” He then began to doctor her fingertips.  She let out some painful roars on the stubbed fingertips that no longer had a nail anymore but at least this time she didn’t try to attack him like last time.  He soothed her with calming phrases like ‘it’s okay. It’s won’t last long.’ And ‘Just relax, it’s almost over.’ After bandaging up her left pinkie finger he told her, “There, I’m done (Y/n).”

At hearing that name, she looked up at T’Challa curiously.  Her tail perked up and the tip curled inward.  T’Challa looked at her to see her tail fall limp to the cage floor. “(Y/n)?” her tail lifted up again and her head tilted curiously.  “So you like that name eh?” She looked at T’Challa and her nose twitched as she was trying to sniff him through the glass.

Taking a risk, he slowly reached his hand into the cage once more like before.  However this time he kept his hand in a downward position, so that his hand formed the shape of another cat’s nose.  The Child slowly crept towards his hand and gave it a sniff, when she saw that he wasn’t moving his hand, she rubbed her head against his hand for a brief second before nuzzling underneath his palm so that it sat on top of her head.

He gently began scratching her scalp which caused her to let out soft comforting purrs.  T’Challa smiled warmly and continued to gently give the child—well (Y/n) some more scritches and pets.

“Don’t you worry (Y/n). I promise I won’t allow anyone else to harm you in any shape or form.”

The next couple of months after getting her body weight back to normal and healing any other wounds she had maintained, T’Challa allowed (Y/n) to venture outside the palace with him.  Thinking the city itself was too much for her right now, he decided to take her out to the Border tribe so that she could see the outside world for the first time in her life.

Needless to say she was overwhelmed but she was happy to feel the grass beneath her feet, see the beautiful landscape, and hear all the sounds of the outside world from the animal calls to some of the Border tribe members talking with each other.

“Seems she’s getting along well.” Okoye observed (Y/n) who was cautiously watching the rhinos from their pins.

“Slowly but surely she is. Walking on two feet is still a bit of a challenge but she’ll get there eventually.” T’Challa told her.

“At least she’s learned to not attack you.”

“It was one time Okoye, be nice.”

“As your General it is my duty—”

“I understand your duty General. But you must also know that there will be times you can’t protect me. And this attack was very minor compared to the fights I’ve been in before.” It was then T’Challa saw (Y/n) now focusing her attention on some birds that had just landed a few feet away from the rhino pins.  Her panther instincts kicked in as she got into pouncing position, her pupils were fully blown and her shoulder blades flexed over one another as her butt raised higher and higher in the air.

Finally she raced forward and the birds immediately took off flying.  She leaped well over 7ft in the air and managed to capture a bird in her claws and delivered a fatal bite.  She then raced over to T’Challa and presented him the dead bird.

She placed it on the ground before his feet and backed away before tilting her head with a happy smile on her face.

“Seems she has a gift for you my King.” Okoye said. T’Challa grimaced at the gift but he quickly smiled down at her and knelt down in front of her.

“I appreciate the gift (Y/n). But—we cannot keep this bird kept within a cage. Like how I freed you, we must also allow this bird to move onto the next life.” He dug into the earth for a small shallow grave, just big enough for the bird and he placed the bird into the makeshift grave.  He buried it under the earth and he sent a brief prayer to Bast in Wakandan. “Right, now let’s head back to the palace. I have a meeting with M’Baku about reforging our alliance and allowing the Jabari tribe into the council.”

Okoye and T’Challa walked ahead when they heard something behind them.  At first they thought it was one of the goats but it sounded to hoarse to be one of them. They slowly turned around and saw (Y/n) with a hand over the grave of the bird and she was saying.

“Ba……Ba.”

“Is she……?” Okoye started.

“Ba.” (Y/n) was trying to talk!  She was trying to say the Cat goddess Bast’s name.  She managed to get out the first constant and vowel but she couldn’t figure out how to do her S and T.

“Her first time talking. She’s trying to say Bast’s name.” T’Challa knelt down and he asked her, “(Y/n), are you trying to give a prayer to Bast?”

“Ba!” she exclaimed again.  T’Challa was overjoyed on the inside that the girl he had decided to take under his wing and raise was finally trying to talk.  Many of the tutors he and Shuri had growing up had given up saying that she was incapable of speaking because all she did was just hiss and growl as well as throw things at them before laughing like a deranged hyena.

“Here I’ll help you say her name.” he adjusted himself so that he sat down and he placed his hand right next to hers and he said slowly so that she could see how his lips did it. “Say Bast.”

“Ba.”

“Bast.”

“Ba.” T’Challa shook his head.

“Watch me carefully. Bast.” He enunciated the t at the end.  (Y/n) growled lowly before taking a deep inhale and finally exclaiming.

“BAST!”

“Yes. Yes that’s it! You did it (Y/n) great job!” at seeing T’Challa’s excitement, (Y/n) began to repeat Bast’s name gleefully as she pranced around.

“A little cocky there isn’t she?” Okoye muttered.

“Let her have this moment Okoye. Besides probably hunting and killing, this is her first real big achievement. A normal milestone.”

“I suppose so.” She agreed.  Even though she might not have wanted to admit it, she thought it was adorable how little (Y/n) was finally able to speak a human language and become so happy with herself that she would prance around like a yearling antelope.

Over the next couple of years, (Y/n) continued to not only advance in her human speaking skills, but she now began to show signs of aging.  She went from that small child to now almost a young adult woman in just 2 years since finding her.  Seemed with the animal enhancement, it also increased her human aging with each time she grew stronger and tougher.

T’Challa continued to raise her as his own and pretty soon all of Wakanda looked at her as their young Princess.  Shuri loved hanging out with (Y/n) and teaching her everything there was to know about science and technology.  She even took her as an apprentice in her lab.  Okoye eventually came around and soon saw (Y/n) as a member of the royal family and took it upon herself to train her like a Dora Milaje so that she could defend herself without the need of her animal powers.

For she was the Panther Princess.

[fonulyn]

Fic Writer Wrapped-2021 Edition

got tagged by @phoenixkaizen 💖

How many stories did you complete?

75 on ao3, but there’s also a bunch of tumblr ficlets from the first half of the year that haven’t made it to ao3 yet so. idk? 90-ish?

What is your total word count for the year?

~350k. of posted fic. 

What fandoms did you write in this year?

Resident Evil and The Old Guard, but ToG was only in the first half of the year, the recent months have been only RE tbh.

Did you write more, less, or roughly about what you expected?

ehhh well I am always positively surprised I get stuff done so more, I’d say. I did write 300k+ last year too so this isn’t a huge shock but I still remember 2014-2018 when I wrote like literally nothing so writing anything at all always feels like an accomplishment.

What’s your favorite story of the year?

ughhhh i don’t knooooowwww. i am one of those (apparently rare??) people who actually like their own fics :’D bc like, i write what i'd want to read. so even if it sounds super selfish, i have a lot of favorites. but hm. so I confide in you (for nothing compares to you) or the guess who’s back, Krauser’s back -series, probably.

What is your most underappreciated story of the year?

the super self-indulgent snowy nivannedy vacay? :’D lmao it’s the one that got by far the least ...anything so let’s go with that.

Biggest fanfic-related disappointment of 2021?

that nivannedy still isn’t the fandom’s biggest ship, smh. such wasted potential. :’D lmao but nah i ...don’t know. the fact that my to-write-list just keeps on growing and i can’t write fast enough to cross things off it at the same rate i keep adding new stuff? but that’s just how it is i’ve made my peace with it lol.

Biggest fanfic-related surprise of 2021?

that i got my whole grand fic challenge finished. i am great at starting stuff like that, less great at finishing. so it felt like a huge accomplishment! still does. and i wanna do something similar again but idk exactly what. suggestions welcome :’D although I should just stick to my to-fic-list gdi and not stray away from it again.

Something you look forward to working on in 2022?

the nivannedy re4 au! it is my immediate priority. i’m also super pumped to finally finish the nivannedy childhood friends re2 au lol i wrote it already once but realized it didn’t make sense and had to start over. i’m also very excited for the one tumblr request i got asking for them to have a baby so although i haven’t figured out the specifics of that yet i am looking forward to it. Tir also put an idea in my brain about the ot3 having to take in a kid that’s somehow infected (like Sherry) and can’t be placed in any ‘normal’ family, so it’s either that or the kid being put in a lab and ofc the ot3 can’t have that so they’ll take the kid lol.

i’ve also wanted to do a soulmate au for the longest time so maybe in 2022 i’ll finally have the chance to do that. and I have this lifeguard au i’ve wanted to do since june (with nivannedy and chris/oc) and i really would want to get started on that at some point too. 

but like. i have 26 things on my to-fic-list at the moment :’D 27 if you count that one vague addition in the end. so. i have so so so many plans. let’s see if i’ll get even a fraction of those done ansdfgjkjkn

i also would love to actually finish posting all the tumblr ficlets on ao3 sometime this year. would be amazing to have all the fic in one place.

i am rambly, i apologize.

i am also not gonna tag anyone :’D or i will tag everyone! if you wanna do this, do it!! and say i tagged you. i mean it!

[kirbyspits]

A lot of Makorra shippers only moved on because they’re afraid of being called homophobic for not shipping korrasami. I LITERALLY saw someone on Instagram yesterday call a makorra shipper homophobic just for saying korrasami came out of nowhere. Also, Korrasami shippers LOVE to bring up the "popping bottles" backlash to make fun of makorra shippers. I left the tlok fandom in 2014 bc it was so toxic as a teenager, but now i’m 23. I’m no longer afraid of shipping something i always loved.

Ah, yes, I realized I didn’t address the fandom's toxicity in the last ask, but I’ve spoken about it before. I don't talk too much about the past because I was at the edge of the fandom back in 2014/2015. I was aware of fights, but the discussions I saw were moreso on bi-erasure. I saw one post saying it was wrong to ship Makorra. I remember being really confused about why Makorra was actually problematic, but I didn’t appreciate being told who I can ship the only dark-skinned woman protagonist on a major television network with. Why are you forcing me to ignore Mako and Korra’s relationship? Book 1 is practically about Mako and Korra, all other characters be damned. Me preferring the story of one pairing and a popular romance trope, second chances, is not wrong, and no one would know how I view the LGBT+ community based on who I ship in one show.

I ended up leaving the community because I was disappointed with season 4 in general. When Korra was released on Netflix, I figured it was time to rewatch the series again (plus, I’ve been binging all my favorite romance anime). So imagine my shock when I created a new Tumblr and Twitter account to rant and rave about TLOK, and I saw nothing but hate and name-calling in the Makorra tags. I saw people casually throwing around the word “homophobic,” and one person said people who don’t like Korrasami are just misogynistic. 

I just wanted pretty pictures, and people are out here psychoanalyzing shippers! So, I dug through some blogs and to feel more grounded with this fandom I didn’t recognize. After reading through their commentaries and experiences, I actually became more upset at Bryke than the teenagers/children who comment on Makorra posts saying how much better Korrasami is or accuse Makorra shippers of being homophobic. 

Yes, I truly believe these comments are mostly coming from people in their late teens and younger, at least in 2020. I can’t speak on 2014/2015, but since we were younger, the early 20s/late teens, I wonder if our age group was also the loudest. Don’t get me wrong, adults can be horrible people and can get really nasty. However, every time I look up the rudest commenters' profiles, they were teens. When one Korrasami shipper wrote “screw Makorra” on my AMV, I figured I’d have some fun trolling them until I clicked on their profile and saw a child. Needless to say, I ignored them and reflected on how parents are allowing their babies on TikTok while my parents freaked out at the idea of showing my picture on FB growing up. 

*I’m not still mad about that*

Also, while it doesn’t give anyone an excuse to make such a strong accusation, part of me, as a straight person, feels like I can’t get too upset because I also become very aware of my privilege. The space I’m in is a majority of young LGBT+ fans (at least on Twitter where I’ve seen the most toxicity). Some people see TLOK as their safe space and imply why should there be Makorra shippers when they have all these other cis/het shows they can engage with. It doesn’t work like that, of course. TLOK doesn’t only feature Bi characters. They’re POC/Indigenous, women, and Korra has dark skin. That’s a lot of marginalized communities. Makorra/TLOK is my comfort show, not because she’s with a man, but because of the reasons I just listed. Also shipping Korra with Mako doesn’t mean she’s no longer bi. She’d still be attracted to women.

Here’s who I am upset with tho, Bryke. Mostly Bryan. While Makorra shippers called out Korrasami shippers for cyberbullying, the focus seemed to be on Bryan for making it seem like there was something wrong with them for not finding Korrasami’s narrative satisfying. It was especially sad to read bloggers who identified as being part of the LGTB+ community saying Bryan’s hetero-lens dismissed their experience and then having to defend/proving themselves to anonymous messengers. 

Fans saw it as a betrayal. They saw it as the go-head for the rude Korrasami shippers to harass Makorra artists because they “didn’t watch the show correctly.” When the creator, the person you admire, also puts the blame on you, that kind of pain is on another level.

Korrasami shippers played a huge role in kicking Makorra shippers out of the fandom, but we can’t underestimate how much Bryan’s statement is a slap in the face. He used his characters and social justice as a shield for reasonable criticism. Just because we say a story is bad and Asami is grossly underwritten doesn’t mean that we’re against the idea of Korra and Asami being a couple. 

Of course, I’ve seen some very problematic statements from Makorra shippers. After all, homophobia is real. However, aside from the actual bigots, people have no issue with Korrasami. They just wanted a stronger connection between the girls. Many people seem to think Makorra shippers were looking for more romance, but we know we couldn't expect that. We can expect more screentime, musical cues, and more emotional support, which most people can see as platonic, but be romantic if you really want to. Mako’s interactions in book 4 can be seen as platonic, but all of us Makorra shippers saw it to be romantic.

Popping bottles! I completely missed that joke in 2014 and I discovered it this year. I agree it’s pretty annoying, but I become a troll and say I’m popping bottles for my Makorra moments. I don’t get any engagement, but I don’t seem to lose followers for it. Maybe popping bottles represents “straight-baiting?” I don’t get it why it’s so funny after all this time, but we’re Makorra shippers. We’re the joke 🙄

Anyways, to wrap up, lately, there seems to be a bit of a shift on Twitter. When I first created an account. I stayed in my little corner live-tweeting about TLOK and Makorra. I had to stop looking at the Makorra tag because it was so negative. Now, I’m seeing people admit they’re cute, and then saying they’re platonic soulmates. I’ll take it, although, as one commenter said, “that’s boring!” 

Someone led a Makorra Week back in October, and it was really nice! I have feeling people speaking up on the name-calling and reminding people that we’re talking about 2D characters helped. We just want to be left alone and enjoy the scenes we have in the show, art, and fanfiction. 

Keep shipping who you want! Don’t let any stranger shame you for your shipping preferences, especially in fiction! I’m so happy you feel more comfortable shipping these two dorks! You’re not alone! I’ve been a Makorra shipper since 2012, and while I find Korrasami cute (I love Korra, and I love Asami), Makorra is my OTP. I really like them, and I think they were meant for each other.

[anewbeginningagain]

Thank you for what you said about being disappointed in the fandom and not in VM. I came to follow you through the VM fandom and I do remember you clearly drawing a line when the shipper/anti discussion got to be overwhelming. I respect that so much. I loved them as performers and as a team, and I have always believed them when they clearly said they were not a couple. I also believe they have now each forged paths that fit them and that were 100% what I would have expected given what they expressed interest in over the years.

How did you know when to step back? While I wasn’t a shipper, I mistakenly thought that the shipper discourse was all in good fun and hung around far too long. During that time, and especially around the WOF events, it felt like nearly every VM blog (even the normally neutral ones) had drunk the shipper Kool Aid and was taking sides between VM. I really can’t look at any of those blogs with any respect, to say nothing of the truly vile people who continue to propagate lies about VM to this day. So I’m now also very bitter at the fandom, because it put a darkness over the last year we got to see VM be a skating team, and we won’t get that time back.

I don't think I knew when to step back, I stepped back too late tbh. For a long time I tried to fight what was done to them because it was just such injustice in my eyes and in my character I find it hard not to fight for what I believe even when it costs me. I'm putting this under a keep reading since it turned out long.

I think my experience was different for many reasons, I wasn't on tumblr before TS, I didn't know what a fandom is and was never part of one, didn't even know what shipping was. So coming here in 2014 and lurking until I joined fully was a strange experience. And that's partly why I was a part of it but also always an outsider, I didn't have group chats or was a part of some clique. At times I chatted with other blogs but it was mostly impersonal. That's also why I was a very low-key shipper in some ways but I was also much more realistic in terms of what it actually means and what I expect from them (nothing at all btw, shipping them was always on me, not on them, it was my decision and they owed me nothing).

The thing with the TS fandom is that it was toxic from the start and I was completely aware of it. One of my first ever posts was me publicly calling out another blogger for being a bully, it wasn't even done to start a fight or anything, I just didn't know what the decorum was around here... But it was well deserved and only escalated from there. The fandom basically turned people into monsters in my eyes - people were bullies, harassing others, belittling them. Every time a blogger would come out and share a personal experience like TS helping them deal with personal heartbreak - those "monsters" would drag them both anonymously and publicly. And while it drove me crazy to watch it, what made it worse is that most people were reluctant to stand up against it. And this was when the fandom was way smaller than it became in 2018.

During 2016-2018 before they went viral the fandom still had many low points, they'd start a rumor about every person TS were seen talking to, every photoshoot Tessa did made people question her motivation and commitment to skating and made them angry at Scott for not trying enough, every skating related decision was questioned and they were announced as DOOMED about once a week. It was a time where the fandom will have a meltdown about once a month over the dumbest things ever. And yet at that time, it was still worth being around. The good outweighs the bad.

But it stopped being the case in 2018. I was so happy they went viral but the new batch of fans made things a lot worse. They came in knowing nothing and completely fell for the "monsters" that were always around, they needed the entertainment and they didn't care about the consequences of their actions. Some of them came from other fandoms and didn't realize that what you can do when shipping two movie stars, can't be done when it's two Canadian athletes who are much more accessible and way less prepared to deal with the insanity. It became a circus and TS were the opening act, there to either behave as the masses pleases or fall apart in front of them for entertainment purposes. Everything was fair game to those people, their private lives, their reputation, their families, their integrity, it was all a big game.

So even when it was fun I knew it won't last. There were too many people around that I knew in my heart were horrible people, I think about a month after the Olympics I started blocking accounts who were determined to make stuff up or those trying to "educate" new fans by telling them complete fabrications while still abusing the old bloggers that were around. But I was also getting to know new blogs and while some are still around and are totally great, most were either awful from the start or die-hard shippers who were bound to turn on TS once it will get out that they aren't a couple. And then all the rumors about TS being stalked started going around and things became way too much for me.

And I think I knew that it will be a shit show around here when it will come out that they are not a couple, but even I couldn't have imagined the level people were stoop to. The complete insanity that went down reached the media, other skaters were asked to comment about nasty rumors about them, they and their loved ones were cyberbullied.

I think the time I knew I have to make a complete purge to my timeline both here and on twitter was when someone tagged Scott's girlfriend's old husband in a tweet asking him to get her away by taking her back while attaching legal documents from their divorce papers. That was so demented that I knew I don't want to even be associated with those kinds of people. And there are tons of other horrible things that were done, it's just too infuriating to name more of them.

But the one consistent thing in this fandom was that a big part of it will always try to ruin the happy moments: Their first ACI - some tried to make up some guy Tessa is supposedly dating and was there, first SCI - they couldn't even beat C/B in the FD, a small error at 4CC SD - they are falling apart, a stumble at worlds - they won't be allowed to win the Olympics, they choose MR - it's a warhorse and the judges will laugh at them, the entire 2017/18 - they are doomed, touring Japan - they are a couple but are fighting just look at their body language, thank you Ilderton - can't even look at each other. I can legit keep this going for days.

About 95% of TS fandom is the absolute worse, always have been and always will be, and when anyone come across those "nice" fans who interact with Tessa on Instagram or are part of fs twitter - keep in mind most of those people behaved like horrible human beings, not only to TS but to other fans as well. So yeah, I'm bitter LOL.

[weirwoodking]

hi i was wondering if you would be interested in making a meta on the differences between show!sansa and book!sansa bc i know they changed a lot of her storyline but i don't understand why everyone hates on sophie turner? it can be short or inexistent meta if you're not up to it but i would be very interested to know what you have to say

I mean, the differences between the two are pretty simple. After season 4, D&D decided to cut Sansa’s book storyline, and replaced it with their own rewrite. This affected the plots of multiple characters, particularly Show!Theon’s and Show!Jon’s, but most of all, Show!Sansa’s, obviously. George himself has spoken on how much he hated what the show did with Sansa. He said in 2014 that he had “no idea what they were doing with Sansa or where they’re taking her storyline.”

I could go episode by episode and point out everything that’s wrong or is out of character, but it’s kind of useless. The show did not adapt books 4 & 5, it’s as simple as that, everything is different and feels like it’s out of character. For the first 4 seasons, I thought that Sansa’s story was handled fine (I haven’t watched GOT seasons 1-4 in over 4 years, so my memory is a bit foggy on the specifics tho). Sophie Turner isn’t exactly how I picture Sansa to look, but her acting was fantastic, especially for someone so young and for her first television role.

I personally haven’t seen people “hating on Sophie Turner”, but I’m not involved in the GOT side of tumblr, only the ASOIAF side, so I don’t see people talk about the actors that much. I do know that there are people in fandom (not just in the GOT fandom but in fandom in general) who will conflate actors with their characters. I have seen some toxic Show!Sansa stans do this with Show!Dany and Emilia Clarke (mostly last year). It seems to be more of a problem with female characters and actresses (‘cause sexism), and I think it’s really creepy and disturbing. Sophie Turner is not Sansa, so if anyone is “hating on her” because they didn’t like how the show changed Sansa’s story, that’s really fucked up. I don’t know much about the GOT cast, actually, I rarely watched interviews or behind-the-scenes videos. I don’t know if Sophie Turner has said that she likes the show’s ending or something like that, so if that was the case I could see people being critical of her opinion. But even if she did like the ending of the show and the way the writers changed her character after season 4, I still don’t think you should hate on an actor for that. Because the actors didn’t make the show, the showrunners did. It’s not on the actors to get everything right about their characters, it’s on the writers and directors to tell them the story and guide them through their acting. I don’t blame the actors for anything about GOT (no one should), I blame the writers.

What I find is the biggest problem about post-season 4 Sansa is how little regard they had for her character, while simultaneously claiming she was their favorite. I believe their exact quote was “Sansa was the character we cared about more than anyone”. Okay… then why did you cut her storyline? I feel like their whole “she’s our favorite character” act was more to try to defend against the criticism of the cutting of her storyline. What bothers me most is how they just casually threw her into the Ramsay plotline without thinking at all about what that meant. If you’re going to have one of the main characters of the show get serially raped, you need to think about what you’re doing and how to handle that horrific situation. In the books, the Jeyne Poole storyline is handled very carefully. The acts committed by Ramsay against Jeyne and Theon are never really shown, only implied, alluded to, or very briefly described. The show, on the other hand, explicitly showed Theon’s torture scenes, and made Ramsay a much bigger character in seasons 5 & 6 than he is in the books. I feel like they just used him for shock value, because so much of Game of Thrones revolved around shock value and in-the-moment reactions. I think they just saw Ramsay as a character they could turn into Joffrey 2.0, which is why they put Sansa with him. They didn’t care to follow Sansa’s book arc, they just wanted to continue the whole “caged-bird” thing with her, for shock value.

And to deflect against criticism, that’s why they made her so smart and powerful in the final few seasons. There’s next-to-no build up, no character development, no focus on her growth, the show just tells us that Sansa is the smartest character, and the audience is expected to agree. Because D&D did not care about showing her development. There’s a line in season 7, when Sansa and Arya kill Littlefinger, where Sansa says “thank you for all of your lessons, Lord Baelish.” And that immediately stuck out to me, because that sounds like something Book!Sansa would say. The show cut out Sansa’s Vale storyline, where she spends much more time with Littlefinger, and so… what “lessons” is Show!Sansa referring to here? They didn’t spend a lot of time together in the show. I do think that Sansa will defeat Littlefinger in the books, so that line makes sense for Book!Sansa.

What they did was cut Sansa’s storyline, throw her into a horrific situation that they used for shock value, and then expected to be praised when they made her a “girlboss” later on. They basically said “hey, we know we essentially erased this character’s arc and development, but at least we did a feminism, right?” And that’s what really pisses me off. The blatant disregard for female characters, then saying “no, we do care about them! Believe us!”

Lindsay Ellis has a really good video called “Woke Disney” that touches on this. Basically, she talks about how Disney’s recent live action remakes tend to make each of the princesses a “#girlboss” in a very corporate, fake-feminist manner that is very easy to see right through. (I recommend just watching the video, she goes more in-depth into the subject.)

A similar thing occurred with GOT (the show only had one female writer after season 4, by the way, who was a staff writer for season 8. And before that, only 4 episodes were written by a woman). D&D wrote a lot of problematic, misogynistic, homophobic, and racist things. Then they tried to cover that up with (to use a line from Ms. Ellis) a coat of #girlboss paint. For example, I remember after s8e3 (when Arya killed the Night King) came out, that was when the big criticism for season 8 really started. People saw how bad the writing of that episode was, and how ridiculous and anti-climactic it all felt. However, when people criticized the manner in which the Night King was killed (i.e. saying that it would have made more narrative sense for Jon to do it instead of Arya), there was another group of people who called that criticism sexist. “That’s sexist! You’re just upset that a girl did it instead of a guy!” Which… ugh... do I need to explain how idiotic that line of reasoning is?

And that’s kind of how the HBO show tried to get away with its misogyny, not just the misogyny of Dany’s ending, but of the whole show in general. “Look, we can’t be misogynistic, we had Arya kill the Night King! Look, we can’t be misogynistic, we had Sansa become a #girlboss!” Bullshit, you’re just trying to hide your sexism and bad writing behind a facade of fake feminism.

… *sigh* ...

Anyway, nothing but love for Book!Sansa, and nothing but hate for the writers of Game of Thrones. I hate how the show turned Sansa into a very polarizing character, when she shouldn’t be. None of the child characters of ASOIAF should be polarizing, they’re children for fucks sake.

I’m very excited to see where GRRM takes Sansa’s character in TWOW, I feel like she’s got an awesome journey coming up (hopefully involving her discovering her skinchanging powers, taking down Littlefinger, and heading north for home). 

Uh, wow, this got really long… and I’m exhausted after thinking about the sh*w that much. Here, as a treat for reading all the way down to the bottom, have a Sansa WIP drawing that I haven’t finished yet:

[hashire]

helloo, I saw your posts and I’m so sorry for asking such question like yesterday, I came back to aot fandom again since january and found ur fics in April. I dunno the reason you hid em, but I’m glad u didnt delete them because they are really cool. I dont have a tumblr acc. Get well soon, i’m praying for your recovery!! I ship rivamika since 2014 ❤️ . I just knew that inter fans are toxic than in my country... sorry for my english. Love you hashire

First, your English is fine, and I love you, too. ❤️

It's also fine that you asked. I appreciate knowing that someone noticed. I've told a few people about it and had one other person contact me to ask what happened. A reason for that may be because people think I don't want to talk about it. That is not the case. I wasn't going to make a huge post about it without prompting is all.

Anyway, I've changed my mind. I took an unintended hiatus from writing in 2020. I just didn't feel like doing it for many reasons. Sometime over that year or so of very little (if any) writing, I wondered if I was done with writing rivamika, if I should be done with writing rivamika. There's always been a point where I feel like, hey, maybe there's nothing else for me to write or share. It happened with k/anle/a back in 2011/12 (though I did write a short thing in 2016 after rereading the manga, but that was it). I wished, then, that my last posted fic had been something other (better) than disturbing the dust. I couldn't go back and change it, so it was what it was.

But then, after 138 came out, I suddenly had a burst of energy to write again. I wrote another short thing after a prompt for an rmevents weekend inspired me. It wasn't really rivamika, I know. Sure, their daughter was there and Levi appeared at the end, but it wasn't much. I wrote another little thing in April after having feels over seeing what was on the gravestone. Still not really rivamika because it was only Mikasa and their kid.

I hadn't posted for over a year at that point, so it felt a little like a comeback, if you will. I didn't expect much reaction over that fact, and I was right. Disappointed regardless, but right. No one is obligated to feel anything about me and my writing. It's just frustrating to think about how so many other authors could come back after a long break and be celebrated for returning. I'm sure this all comes across as very bitter and jealous and honestly, it kind of is. I'm fine with acknowledging that.

The thing is, I write what I want, which generally aren't things that draw a big audience. I can't write chaptered fics. It's something I've never been able to do. People want 50k words of fanfic. I can't do 50k words of fanfic. This is something that has frustrated me for so long. I have accepted that I'm unable to do it now. It took a very long time, but I have.

It's not unreasonable to want feedback when you post something online. Write for yourself, they say. I just said that I fucking do. There is absolutely nothing I've written that I wouldn't want to read. Even when I asked for prompts, I only answered the ones that appealed to me.

All that aside, the fandom feels different. I came back to shippers who felt it was absolutely one hundred percent necessary for rivamika to be canon. I felt so uncomfortable standing back and watching the meltdown (not the reaction to the chapter overall and its many, many drawbacks and many, many things to be critical of, just rm). No ship needs to be canon for it to be shipped or even exist. This seems like a recent turn of events in many fandoms, though I may be wrong. I may have just missed the people who demanded canon or nothing. Get mad me all you want about what I've said. I didn't say anything to slight anyone. It is what I've observed. My opinion. I can be critical of people's behavior as much as people can be critical of other things (like many people have said they have been over the past days, though critical is not really the word I'd choose to describe it).

I do think I'm done writing rivamika, with the exception of measured out in teaspoons (part 2 of among the teacups). I would like to write and deliver that at some point soon. Inspiration may strike for something else, but, right now, I don't have any plans to write more rivamika.

And yes, I know that I've gotten support from people over the years. That there were people who I felt I could count on to read and respond to what I posted. I appreciate all of that so much. More than I can even express. I didn't delete my fics because I didn't want to lose all of those kind words. To all those people: I love you.

I still ship it. I'll still reblog things for it (mostly art because it's been a very long time since I've wanted to read rm - with a few exceptions - and the other related posts just aren't for me). I just have no plans to create it. This can change at any time, but, for now, I don't think it will.

This got so long. Good on you if you read all of it. Anyway, that's all I have to say.

[missdaviswrites]

MissDavis 2020 Fic Year in Review

I was tagged by @loveismyrevolution, @hubblegleeflower, @blogstandbygo and @notesoflore. Thank you all!

Total number of completed stories: 11

Total word count: 108,368 (minus 9,125 on a WIP from previous years, so 99,243 is the actual number of new posted words)

Fandoms written in: BBC Sherlock

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? More! My goal was to finish Better Off Together and write all of Hold You Like a Weapon, which I did, and they ended up being about as long as I expected. But I didn't expect to write the 9 shorter fics. I thought I might do 3 or 4 for 221B Consolation Fest, as I have for a few years now, but I also ended up with 4 short fics inspired by the quarantine, plus In Extremis, the Eurus-prompted Fuck or Die fic. I also didn’t think I was going to write a Christmas ficlet series this year, but I did end up with Put a Little Love in Your Heart.

What’s your own favorite story of the year?  Hold You Like a Weapon: I wasn't sure if this story would work out, especially with the pacing, but I'm happy with the way it ended up. (Thanks to @totallysilvergirl and @persian-slipper for all the beta help, offered through @fandomtrumpshate!) It's a Johnlock friends-to-lovers story, 52K, explicit, told from John's POV after he receives a frantic phone call from Sherlock, asking him to help because Eurus has just shown up at the flat and is about to give birth.

Did you take any writing risks this year? Yes! Alone Together! From a prompt by @theemptyquarto, this was a challenging story to write, combining two of my favorite things to write in ways I never would have thought possible. At 8355 words, it's my longest smutty story ever and I'm very proud of it, even though the audience for it has been pretty limited.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? I'd like to try to write an original novel, because although I tried to do that many times before I started writing fic in 2014, I never managed to finish anything. I'm hoping that having a few novel-length works of fic under my belt means I now know how to finish, though I'm afraid I won't have the motivation to write when I don't have AO3 readers waiting for the next chapter.

Most popular story of the year?  Hold You Like a Weapon has the most hits, kudos, bookmarks, etc. Not surprising, since it was a multi-chaptered fic posted over nine months. I was happy to see that people did not avoid the fic even though Eurus was central to the premise. I don't write fix-it fics, so it's canon-compliant, but I tried to make Eurus into somewhat of a more realistic character. (Though it's a Johnlock story and she is far from the main character, just the catalyst for everything else.)

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I would say Alone Together, but I didn't expect that to get many readers (you're missing out—it's some of my better smut, plus John now has both nipples pierced.) But I guess I was surprised that Comforts of Love didn't get many readers, especially in relation to other quarantine stories I wrote this year. It's got some porny times set in my Breakable universe. Everyone always tells me how much they like Breakable, but then very few people want to read anything else in the series, it seems.

Most fun story to write: Hm. The long ones are never the most fun, just because they're a lot more work. Better Off Together has traditionally been my happy place for writing, and I was really glad to come back to that fic and finish it off this year. And I admit to having fun with In Extremis, having Eurus force John and Sherlock together as a final test at Sherrinford. And Skin, Touch, Feel was a really easy to write bit of fluff, so that was fun, too.

Most unintentionally telling story: I don't know. Most of what I write has little to do with me personally. BUT I did realize I wrote numerous stories this year featuring Sherlock giving John a shoulder massage, and that's 100% me, because I have a bulging disc in my neck and it messes with my shoulder. I usually get a massage for it about every 6 weeks, but my massage therapist has been closed most of the year, so I've only been able to go once since February and OW.

Biggest disappointment: I knew it was coming, but just a few days ago, Chaperones overtook Breakable as my fic with the most kudos. I like both of the stories, but Breakable will always be my favorite. I guess people prefer fluff to hurt/comfort??? As for things I wrote this year, I wasn't happy with the final chapter of Put a Little Love in Your Heart, because I wanted to end with more wacky hijinks as Mummy and her co-conspirators tried to force Sherlock and John to admit their love, but when the time came to write it, I just didn't have the time or energy this year, so it ended up being only a suggestion of what I wanted it to be.

Biggest surprise: Well, the whole concept for Alone Together was a big surprise, but I think the other surprising thing was that there seemed to be a lot less interest in the Advent Ficlet Challenge this year, at least here on Tumblr. My own fic did fine on AO3, but I thought more people would be reading and reblogging fluffy holiday fic this year. None of my ficlets posted here got anywhere near the attention that some of my previous years' postings have, and the masterlist of everyone who participated got far fewer notes than the lists from the last few years, which makes me feel bad for all the other writers who participated. For a happier surprise, I would say that I was surprised at how much I wrote beyond my goals, and that I still had new ideas for short fics. Thanks to @sherlockedcarmilla for the inspiration from the Isolated Johnlock Collection, which got me to write a few things I wouldn't have otherwise.

I know a lot of people have already been tagged, so I’m tagging any other fic writers out there who would like to share their 2020 work!

[ragequilt]

@unintentionalgenius tagged me to do this and I simply cannot resist them SO

1. How many fics do you have on ao3? - the answer is 13 and I find that alarming. I thought it was like... 6.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count? - cannot believe I’m doing math at 9:18 am uhhh 140,834??? How is this number so high??? I truly don’t understand.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? - ‘someone who’ll set my heart free’, the hades game sickfic I did not expect to still be getting kudos on to this day, all three of my Spencer Reid/Reader insert fics from 2015, and then ‘to grow a winter garden’, last year’s Jaskier/Reader fic and my longest baby to date!

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? - Generally, if it’s a comment with some depth of its own, I will! Otherwise I feel like the commenter and I will get caught in a loop of just sending love to one another (which is lovely but not Productive.) My fave comments to reply to were the ones on ‘to grow a winter garden’ — the demisexual reader character did a lot for a fair handful of people and that really means SO much to me to have done that at all, so. They get my wordvom.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? - HAHAHA I am physically incapable of writing Angst I am so sorry to everyone ??? I can’t even answer this it’s out of my wheelhouse. (that being said I think ‘come out, level up’ is going to have the angstiest scene / arc, but lord we ain’t there yet)

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? - ohhhhhh boy. what a Question for the me. Probably ‘to grow a winter garden’ but like, it’s complicated-happy (as is the nature with Jaskier, I think, love him.)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written? - no, but I am a SUCKER for a fusion fic. See the BNHAH au, the BNHA x Boyfriend Dungeon au, the scraps of YYH fusion fic I write for every fandom I lay my hands on... alas.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? - hmmm yes some little baby person decided to send me tumblr askbox hate over my writing for winter garden, instead of closing out the window like an adult, but nothing Big (oh also my ex boyfriend in 2014 hated the RTAH reader insert fic he INSISTED I share with him... yes I’m still mad fuck you man)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? - okay the technical answer is yes but really I just wanna know about the different kinds of smut. Like, what does this mean? I’m worried about smut genres now what am I missing here

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? - if I have I don’t know about it!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? - no way I’m not that big of a deal

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? - I am effusive sounding board for @unintentionalgenius and I would be miserable without them in my corner as well... and I was beta/and everything else for Wes (Cruel Fate, Kind Destiny), but I don’t think I could actually coauthor something with someone.

13. What’s your all time favorite ship? - oh my god you can’t just ask someone what their favorite ship is. lord let me think... (ten literal minutes later) I can’t possibly pick, like. Whatever @suzukiblu does I’m invested in, same frankly for surveycorpsjean, but like... I can’t simply Pick.

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? - y’all if I had a better naming scheme I would simply include a screenshot from my scrivener here because the answer is ALL of them. that being said I Do need to finish the Jaskier POV of winter garden.

15. What are your writing strengths? - I think my sentence flow is good, structurally! Everything else is garbage tho sorry.

16. What are your writing weaknesses? - all of it. but lord don’t get me started on character voice I CAN’T DO IT why CAN I NOT DO IT

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic? - @unintentionalgenius summed it up well but like — if we aren’t supposed to know what they meant, it gets a one off narrative line. If we are supposed to know what they meant and it’s a whole sentence, we mention that they’re speaking <x language> and write it in the language of the rest of the fic. If it’s a one-off word NBD.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? - on ao3? Naruto, I think. In general? Harry Potter, aged 13.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? - honestly even if I haven’t posted it, my scrivener is full of where my id has leaked. Most stuff I either don’t care to write or I just do it. Maybe kacchako, though, I just love them.

20. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written? - oh boyyyy I feel like I want to say ‘to grow a winter garden’, just bc it wrapped up so well, but there’s so much in the works for ‘come out (level up)’ that I just can’t discount it. Y’all I can’t pick like that. :(

@ofmermaidstories @cat-slippered @bobawithpomegranate y’all I would love to see your answers!!

[charmedseoull]

The Aftermath of Fanfiction Authors with Reba Interview

Before You Read the Interview

I contacted Reba after she posted a Reddit thread titled “When a fic becomes too popular and the author deletes their account and/or work. Explained.” on a throwaway account. We discussed details of the interview during December over email, then started the interview in January. This interview is not associated with a project and is its own independent work. Reba has chosen to remain anonymous.

She provides insight on potential reasons to why fanfiction authors abandon their work from the perspective of a fanfiction reader. She also answered general fandom questions and questions about herself so readers could understand her background.

Charmedseoul is a BTS-focused anonymous historian who documents fandom history using Fanlore. If you would like to be interviewed to help document perspectives in fandom, please contact her on Twitter @charmedseoul or on Tumblr @charmedseoull.

Parts of this interview have been edited with links to Fanlore and Wikipedia pages for understanding. Any information in [brackets] serves for further clarity for readers and elaboration of information.

Now presenting the interview with Reba, long-time fanfiction reader and participant in fandom:

When did you first join fandom culture?

I joined fandom culture in 2014. I feel like fandoms really peaked during this time. [Presence of SuperWhoLock and other Tumblr specific fandoms.]

What fandoms are you in? How have your experiences in them been?

I will be honest and say fandom culture isn’t for me- so I can’t say I’m active in any fandoms (I’m just a silent consumer) but growing up I was a fan of music artists mostly; Justin Bieber, Ariana Grande… I loved the IT 2017 movie adaptation for a long time (I still do), and early 2020 is when I got into BLACKPINK, then BTS. My experience with all of these has been good, and maybe that’s because I don’t see any of the drama and arguments online- but I don’t regret any of my past interests because they all made me happy at one point in time.

What do you like about fandoms?

 What I like about fandoms is how happy it can make an individual; getting excited for a new music video, smiling at behind the scenes photos… it can bring someone a little joy if they are having a bad day.

What do you dislike about fandoms?

I don’t like stan culture at all; fandom drama, arguing on twitter with strangers to defend an artist who doesn’t even know you… it all seems toxic. While I'm sure healthy stanning does exist, I don't think it's easy to achieve at all.

How long have you been an ARMY? What are your opinions about the fandom? How has your experience in the fandom been? 

I became an ARMY in early 2020 when Map of the Soul: 7 was released, so only a year. I really do like the fandom; ARMY is the only fandom I’ve seen where there are so many fans worldwide of all different ages, and that just shows how BTS and their music really is for everyone. There is so much BTS content that there’s never a dull day, so my experience in the fandom has been enjoyable!

Did you ever leave ARMY and take a break then come back?

 I’ve never left ARMY, that being said, I’m a newbie and haven’t been here for long.

When did you first start reading fanfiction? 

I have been exposed to fanfiction since 2014, but I wasn’t in any fandom back then and started reading fanfiction in 2017.

What do you think the purpose behind fanfiction is?

 We mostly read for entertainment but there is definitely a purpose to fanfiction, as for all art. Fanfiction is a great thing for both reader and writers, it can be an outlet for many people, a way to experience things that you don't have a chance to experience in your own life. It also can be a good base ground for people who want to start writing, or for someone who finds reading huge paperback novels difficult. Fanfiction is so easily accessible, you can pull up a story to read or share your work at the press of a button.

As you’ve read fanfiction over the years, do you feel like anything about fanfiction has changed?

Yes! Fanfiction is taken a lot more seriously now, people who write fanfiction treat it like an actual novel with plotting and editing- the quality of fanfiction in general is a lot better. Fandom ships have also changed; when I was a teenager Harry Styles fanfictions were crazy popular, now the fanfics that seem to be more popular are BTS! So that just shows when music evolves, pretty much everything else does too.

As a reader, how do you view authors?

I'm always amazed by fanfic authors because they practically write whole novels for free. Writing can be such a personal thing, and it does take talent; there is a story the author wants to convey, and when a story is told in a beautiful way, it leaves a lasting impact on the reader. I’m sure that must be a euphoric feeling for the author- it means they told their story, and they did it well.

Do you think many other readers share the same view as you?

No, not at all. There are readers out there who don’t really think about the time and effort authors put into their stories. I’ve seen readers expect so much, and criticise something so little. It’s sad- people should be able to write whatever they want, writing is supposed to encourage creativity. Authors shouldn’t have to fear backlash for doing just that. Being creative. 

Why do you think so many authors delete/orphan their work after it gains popularity?

When a story gains popularity- it attracts good and bad attention alike. Unfortunately the negative affects us a lot more, it’s just human nature. While authors do put their work out there, I don’t think they are ever prepared for their stories to become so popular. I am sure it is overwhelming and that’s why authors feel the need to distance themselves from it all and delete/orphan their work.

What stories prompted you to start thinking about why authors delete/orphan their works? 

I read a story called mixtape (IT movie) and I was around long enough to see chapters be uploaded each week. I also saw the struggles the author went through when their fanfic began to rise in popularity, which eventually led to the story being completely deleted from the internet. So I thought this could have been a one-off since I hadn’t read many fanfictions. I then moved onto BTS fanfiction and decided to read the most talked about ones first, only to see a lot of them were by orphaned accounts (so not just a one-off occurrence!). House of Cards by sugamins was the one that got me thinking, I thought “why would somebody not want to be associated with this amazing writing?!” That’s when I began to do some research and stumbled across your interview with the author!

How do you think backlash for a work harms an authors mental health? 

An immense amount of feedback, positive or negative, can take a toll on one person. A lot of authors can be reserved people and they write because they are passionate, as an outlet or just a hobby. So when their work does receive backlash it can be very upsetting- it could make them doubt their reasons and capabilities and affect an author so much they might stop writing all together.

How do you think some authors manage their mental health and not delete a work? 

This is a hard question because everyone deals with backlash differently. I know some authors who are not bothered by backlash and they choose to ignore it and move on with their day, and then there are other authors who are more anxious and have to put a lot of measures in place to protect their mental health; from your interview with sugamins they explain how they didn’t want to destroy their work, just distance themselves from it, so that’s always an option.

Taking time away from social media and getting enough rest, it is important to not neglect your well-being. Finding a way to cope when you feel low; animals tend to ground me and improve my mental health- they are loving and don’t judge you for who you are. Maybe you cope by talking with friends, or listening to your favourite song. It doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it helps. 

At what point with mental health do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

I think an author starts to consider deleting/orphaning their work when it completely consumes them. It is not healthy to be fixated on something that is no longer bringing you happiness, you need to let it go. If you are an author reading this, just know you are not your feedback, it doesn’t define your existence, okay? Fanfiction should add to your life, not take away from it. 

Why do you think some readers invade an authors privacy?

Sometimes, people care more about the author than the work they have created. So when a fanfic has deeply touched a reader and helped them through so much, they want to reach out in any way and tell them so- this can be invasive if the reader is not careful about their approach.

How do you think authors manage this privacy invasion?

Stopping it before it happens; not using your real name, having a separate account for writing, don’t link social media accounts in your works etc. If privacy has already been compromised and a reader is making the author uncomfortable, then disabling comments on their works, making a new social media or changing their accounts to private would be smart. Just knowing how to keep safe online.

At what point with privacy invasion do you think authors start to consider deletion/orphaning?

When you are at risk of being doxed. I think when readers are going as far as finding authors’ personal accounts and messaging their friends- anything along those lines is scary and the reader is going from a supporter to an intrusive stranger real fast.

Why do you think anonymity is important for fanfiction writing?

When your full name is attached to everything you do, people have a very easy way to get back to you. This is why authors keep an anonymous profile, and it is important readers respect that.  Most authors don’t want their family, friends, employer etc to see that sort of stuff. It is completely okay to remain professional and keep fanfiction writing separate from personal life.

Do you think fanfiction writing should stay free? Do you think authors should be paid for their work? 

I do think fanfiction writing should stay free on the sites they originate from (AO3 for example). However, if the author wants to take their work elsewhere to earn money then I don’t see an issue in that. I am glad you mention copyright law with fanfiction in particular because the author of mixtape (the fanfiction I mentioned earlier) tried to self publish their work while keeping canon names, the author tried to justify it as a parody work and everyone was so concerned that they reported the book until it got removed. I have seen stories on Wattpad become published books to purchase, however, the names had been changed to original characters- I think this seems like a much more logical move to avoid any legal repercussions.

As a reader, how has an author’s work connected with you personally? 

I have had works connect with me on a personal level, one in particular is Somebody To Love by LOVERVMINS (orphaned). My standards are impossibly high after reading that fanfic and I don’t think I will ever come across something so beautiful again. Somebody To Love is a taekook fic that was uploaded to AO3 in 2019, the author ended up deleting all their works but thankfully left this particular story up. I was immediately captured by the incredible writing and unique plot; the story of two lovers who were never meant for each other, but destiny found its way anyway… I apologise in advance for how long this summary (with spoilers) is, but I think my thoughts are proof of how this story has connected with me so much!

(Spoilers for Somebody to Love by LOVERVMINS. Please feel free to scroll to the next bolded question to avoid spoilers.)

In this story, Taehyung is a successful lawyer while Jungkook is just a student, despite the difference in status and wealth, they are intrigued by one another from the very start. After meeting Taehyung, Jungkook is left feeling confused about himself, the internalised homophobia is strong to begin with but as the chapters progress Jungkook goes from someone who is afraid of society and what people may think, to strong and outspoken. Taehyung plays a fundamental part in this, because if Jungkook were to never meet Taehyung, he wouldn’t have realised who he really was, he wouldn’t have been brave enough to discover his sexuality and fall in love in a time where it was so unaccepting. Taehyung is bold and confident on the surface, giving little regard for anybody other than himself, but his concern for others soon changes after he meets Jungkook, he becomes a better man. He could have had his heart desires- but Taehyung was no longer selfish from those few months he spent with Jungkook, so he stayed with his wife to be a good father.

Taehyung makes Jungkook promise him he will find somebody to love (hence the title), and he does, Jungkook finds somebody to love and he is happy- Taehyung finds this out when they unexpectedly meet a few years later, this is the final time Jungkook and Taehyung see each other… but knowing Jungkook is happy, leaves Taehyung happy.

There are different kinds of love, some last forever, and some just for a chapter of your life. It is clear Jungkook was Taehyung’s forever. And I don’t think Jungkook’s love for Taehyung ever went away, he just found another kind of love like he had promised. Jungkook had to live his life; he couldn’t wait for Taehyung, to leave his marriage in the unforeseeable future, or watch him raise his kids from afar, this shows that even if society were accepting, their circumstances were too far gone- if only they met sooner, or in another life. It makes you imagine a world where they could have been together, it makes you think beyond the story even when it’s ended.

It has been a month or two since I read LOVERVMINS work, and I still feel a pang in my chest every time I think of Taehyung’s letter for Jungkook in the epilogue.

Why do you think others think they have the right to know an authors personal information?

I think in this day and age, everything about a person is on show, so people just expect that sort of information from you. Authors appreciate feedback- but they don't know the reader, their family or what they do for fun. Vice versa. You only see a small glimpse into the authors life, and the stuff you see is what they feel comfortable enough to show. That should be enough.

Do you consider writing an art form?

  I do consider writing an art form. Writing is like painting an image in the readers mind. I think it is better than visual art because when you are reading a story, not everyone is going to envision the exact same thing, it is up to the imagination. I think that is what makes it so beautiful- we all collectively love a story, yet, we somehow interpret it differently.

Why do you think Archive of Our Own is the ideal platform for fanfiction writing?

I think Archive of Our Own is ideal for fanfiction writing because they give you many options with your work so you are comfortable- it is easy to remove comments, delete an account, or orphan works while keeping your account etc. It is important authors get control of what happens to their work if they want to leave and go in a different direction.

Do you think other fanfiction writing platforms like Fanfiction.net and Wattpad are ideal or lacking?

I think Wattpad is ideal for younger audiences; it’s more visual with book covers and the layout in general is more appealing, I also feel like the stories on there are targeted for pre-teens. When I first got into fanfiction, I did start on Wattpad because it was easier to navigate. I look back now though and do think it is lacking in terms of quality, a lot of the stories are written for shock value and don’t really make much sense because of that. It is hard to find a story on Wattpad that ticks all the boxes (but not impossible). Wattpad also had a breach with data last summer and everyone’s emails got pwned so that made a lot of people move to AO3. I have never used Fanfiction.net so unfortunately I can’t speak for that one. Overall, AO3 has much more content, you can find a story with ease once you know how to use the site.

How has fanfiction writing affected the people in your personal life?

How did you find out that your sister is writing fanfiction?

My sister wrote a Harry Styles fanfic in 2014 which gathered around half a million reads on Wattpad, she got comments from people telling her how much her fanfic has impacted their lives pretty much every day. My sister and I are close and we share the same friends, I noticed when we would have sleepovers she was always on her phone and never paid attention to the movies we were watching. I think all the numbers did affect her for a moment and it wasn’t until my sister started her exams that she realised she had to put her concentration into those to pass, that’s how she came to the decision to delete the story. I asked her recently if she regrets deleting it and she told me she doesn’t at all, she now looks back and doesn’t think her writing was good back then. So I think that shows authors do know what they’re doing and what is best for them in the long run. 

My sister had a one direction fan account on Instagram that had 100k+ followers (insane!), she was always open with her interests and I found out she started writing fanfiction through that account.

What personal reasons do you think authors have for deleting/orphaning works?

The list is endless; maybe the author wrote the story in a bad time in their life and they want to delete it because it reminds them of that time, they could have left the fandom, or they simply do not like their story anymore- they grew up and know they can do so much better. It is okay for an author to grow apart from their work, it shows they are growing as a person too.

Why do you think authors get backlash from writing dark themes?

I think authors receive backlash from writing dark themes because it can be triggering for some and can bring up unpleasant memories.

What do you think are the responsibilities of an author when writing dark themes?

 A safe bet would be to tag anything relating to abuse (physical, emotional, etc), mental illness (eating disorders, self harm, suicide, etc), graphic violence and rape/sexual assault. That’s what comes to mind. And if a trigger occurs only in a certain chapter, then having an additional warning in the chapter notes would be helpful.  

What do you think are the responsibilities of a reader when reading dark themes?

If dark subjects are included in the tags, don’t read the story if it could trigger you. It is as simple as that. People decide to read the fanfic then get mad at the author for triggering them. I am not trying to insult anybody who has triggers, maybe they read a story and their specific trigger was never mentioned in the additional tags… this is what the ‘chose not to archive warnings’ box is for, with this option, it is handled in AO3’s FAQ that major tags are not necessary. In shirt, this means there may be triggering content in the fic that is not disclosed by the author. Plus, there is usually a pop up banner before you click on a story which reads ‘this work could have adult content. if you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content’. There are so many warnings, you can’t miss them. It is a case of reading at your own risk, you can’t blame the author if you do not like the result.

Do you think authors are facing too much pressure from readers about what themes they write?

I do think authors face unnecessary pressure with the themes they write; they are put on such a pedestal that when they write something that isn’t what the audience want, they receive a lot of negative criticism. Authors, no matter what themes you are writing, there is no need to worry if you are writing for yourself and putting out the content you set out to create.

Why do you think authors write dark themes?

 Dark themes are simply an exploration of difficult emotions along with unpleasant events or consequences. Authors write dark themes because it serves a narrative purpose. And authors don’t have to be ‘dark’ people or experience all of these unsettling things to write such content. 

Why do you think readers read dark themes?

Dark themes are not for everyone, I personally don’t think there are enough dark works out there. I read dark themes because it interests me more, I want to know how the characters are going to cope with the consequences, or heal from the trauma. Other readers might prefer dark themes for the graphic content, this is fine too. Fictional violence is not real- we all know this, so there is no reason to be terrified. 

Why do you think so many authors want to have their work get popular?

 People may disagree, but I think it has a lot to do with validation. Subconsciously, authors want people to like their work- a rise in popularity means readers are seeing the authors work, and hopefully taking enjoyment from it. This isn’t a bad thing as long as you realise validation does not equal self-worth. There are people out there who write and do not gain much attention, but that doesn’t stop them from posting their work anyway.

Do you think a work’s popularity is important?

I personally don’t. I read a range of fanfictions- some are super popular, others are not. It is the content I am more interested in, not how many hits/views it has.  

Should we judge authors for deleting/orphaning their work?

Not at all! I am sure authors have thought long and hard before coming to their decision.

How should we view situations where authors delete/orphan their work? 

For a reader, it can be upsetting when authors delete/orphan their work, especially if there is no possibility of reading that story again. However, we need to show compassion and view the situation from the authors perspective; gaining popularity on a fanfic isn't as pleasant as it might seem, it is much more complicated than that. A lot of feedback, both good and bad, can be overwhelming. Mental health is important, and if that means distancing yourself from something so popular, then it must be done. Privacy can be compromised, people in your real life might find out you write these stories and not be accepting, or readers become invasive which is a scary situation to be in. And a mixture of personal reasons, people are allowed to grow and change and want to distance themselves from things they are no longer proud of. 

What do you think authors should be aware of in case their work does get popular?

This is a good question… I think authors need to be aware that with good feedback, also comes bad feedback. You cannot please every single person on this earth, but that is not your job- so do not take it personally. 

Do you have any last messages to readers of this interview?

 I want to thank you in particular, Charm. This interview is probably the coolest thing I’ll ever get to do for the BTS fandom and I’m so grateful that our paths crossed so we could create this interview together. You are such a kind soul and it has been a pleasure from start to finish. 

For the authors reading this interview; I am just a reader, but I do understand how it can be hard for you to continue on when you are going through so many struggles readers don’t get to see. Just know you are appreciated, and you are supported no matter what you decide to do with your works in the future. Having popular works shouldn’t feel like a burden, there are blessings hidden in there- you have made readers feel a rollercoaster of emotions with your talent, you are able to engage with readers around the world, and you have created a beautiful story from nothing… you did that! 

For the silent readers like myself: let the authors of your favourite work know how much you loved it (in a respectful way) before it is too late! I so wish I had the chance to tell the author of Somebody To Love how their story broke my heart then healed it again. Treasure the fanfictions you love because they very well could be gone tomorrow!

Thank you for reading this interview. Further below are reminders and information about this interview and Charmedseoul’s Fanlore projects.

Reba has chosen to remain anonymous. No social media or information about her will be released publicly.

This interview was conducted through email from January 31, 2021 to February 1, 2021 with Reba’s consent and protections under Fanlore’s Identity Protection policies and the posting website’s privacy policies. Unauthorized reposting of this interview is forbidden. 

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Thank you for reading. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer them.